Are You Everyone’s Cup of Tea?

/ still a dreamer / Leave a comment

No, you’re not. Neither am I. Quite honestly, it’s a good thing.

One way to not be everyone’s cup of tea, I am reminded from time to time, is to say what you actually think or feel. Respectfully, but honest. Not everyone wants to hear it. Not everyone is able to hear it.

Many people live in environments where they rarely say what’s truly on their minds and are used to avoiding conflict. Having straightforward, honest conversation can be unfamiliar, frustrating, confusing, or just unwanted.

A fair amount of us were/are raised with the belief that ‘children should be seen and not heard.’ That crosses time frames, geographical, cultural, and religious beliefs, and may be subtle and integrated within one’s belief system.

Children expressing unhappiness, frustration, and especially anger may not be welcomed or tolerated. Kids grow into adults who’ve been taught to just be “good”. Don’t rock the boat.

Couple this with a world drowning in sound bites, overwhelmed by video clips and emotionless texts as the norm, meaningful conversation can take a far back seat.

And yet, you have a lot to say, and plenty to share. Do it anyway.

Be your own cup of tea. 

Thank you to:
Cameron B/pexels – IG: @cameronsinb, top photo and
dilara/pexels – IG: @dilara.stillife, lower photo

What’s in A Name?

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

One thing we are all given upon arrival in this world is a name. That name will follow us, with rare exception, throughout our lives to the day we die. Others respond to our names, as do we. What would the effect be if we didn’t have one?

This is something I wondered about when I finished this book. Why didn’t the story, which was both emotional and urgent, have any feeling of emotion or urgency? And I questioned one unusual quality in the book – none of the characters had names. Only a dog, who was left behind when his family was taken, was given a name by the writer.

Written in first person, the writer was nameless, as was her dearest friend, who is only referred to as “the old man”, and her beloved editor, who is only known as “R”. This depersonalization by the author is obviously intentional, but what was her intent?

The book’s premise hooked me – an island where things are constantly disappearing, and people’s memories along with them. The disappearances are enforced by the Memory Police, a somewhat Nazi-like army. The editor, R, is able to retain all his memories since childhood despite so many of the related items having disappeared from the island. This is sure to make him a prime target to be “disappeared”, so the writer and the old man construct a secret room to hide him.

This has all the elements of a great story; but something was lacking – connection. Did all the characters remaining nameless make a difference? I think it did. Only the rescued dog was given a name – Don, and each time his name was mentioned, I perked up. Oh – what’s happening with Don?

Names are important. They are the first step in how I know you, how I call you. Who are you without a name?

Reminded of Gratitude

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

It’s still early this morning, and I sit in my favorite journaling spot by the front windows as I always do.

I’m not feeling 100% – just one of those mornings one needs to take a little extra time to breathe, and let the day unfold gently.

The sun is rising slowly, brightly illuminating the left side of the porch posts outside; birds are singing their celebration of a new day, and I am listening to this music, so calming with the water running in the background –

Despite the fact that I am feeling pretty far from where I’d like to be at this precise moment, and am not even sure where exactly that is, I also realize that there are thousands, maybe millions, of people who would give anything to be sitting where I am right now …

… to be able to sit calmly and safely; and have the ability to push the day back just a bit before actually starting it; to sit with a cup of coffee and watch the sun slowly lighten the sky. We can forget how much better off we are in our own little lives than so many people in the world. Especially now.

I humbly and gratefully accept all the good I have right now, and trust that my life is unfolding exactly as it should be, no matter how that may feel at any given moment. Even a gentle morning is a gift, and a reminder of abundance. And so it is.

What Am I Learning Now?

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Always, I am learning. Sometimes without my consent. Or awareness.

Sometimes people push us. They are rude and childish and treat us unfairly. In some cases, what we’re learning, perhaps a lifelong lesson, is that their behavior has little or nothing to do with us. It feels personal, but in actuality, it very rarely is.

People are not all on the same level of emotional, mental, or spiritual maturity. They’ve never worked on themselves to grow emotionally. They act out of patterns that they were taught all their lives, and are still being taught.

We might even behave the same way at times. The difference is that some of us try really hard to bring our most emotionally mature self to the table, and the other, while nodding their head, doesn’t really understand what we’re talking about.

Others’ lack of emotional maturity doesn’t excuse rude and childish behavior towards us. It does, however, shed a light on how we need to deal with them, or if we even want to deal with them at all, given the choice.

Having a better idea of what it is that I’m learning, and where I’m going with it, is one of the reasons that I journal every day. Knowing what we know is a good thing.