A Life in Lines

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I recently went to the MVC (Motor Vehicle Commission) to get my REAL ID, and was offered the opportunity to have a new license photo taken. Sure, it’s been a while.

There’s nothing like having your photo taken by some official agency to reveal how we’ve aged, how many more lines we’ve added since our last such photograph. In our mirrors at home, we watch a slow and gradual change, so we can almost delude ourselves into thinking we haven’t really aged. It’s a harmless enough delusion.

Once back home, I decided to take an account of my face in the mirror.

There are definitely some lines. Among them, are many, many laugh lines. I know because when I smile, I see which ones they are. I also have squinting lines on my forehead and between my eyebrows, because I have grey eyes, and lighter eyes are always much more sensitive to sun then darker ones.

Some of the lines are simply natural aging, years of skin no longer capable of being taut as it was when I was younger. Pretty routine. I notice there really aren’t frown lines, or a down turned mouth, nothing angry.

But I also know, hidden in those lines, there are times of pain, anxiety, the stress of overcoming things life brought my way, delicate channels for tears. These lines are, to use the words of a friend, my Badge of Courage.

In the end, whether in a harshly lit photo for a driver’s license, in the soft and generous photo taken by a friend, or a selfie, all these lines are no more, no less, than a life lived.

Do What Makes You Happy

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Reminder to self: Draw more. It makes you happy.

Reminder to you: Do what makes you happy.

When so many things in the world feel like they’re falling apart at the seams, do what you love, whatever it is.  Every moment of love sent out into the world is a stitch in repairing the fabric so carelessly rent by those whose souls have long ago ceased to care.

The Symbol of the Butterfly

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What is the meaning of a butterfly? Often, the butterfly symbolizes change, due to its dramatic transformation from a caterpillar to a magnificent winged creature. In Japanese, Burmese, and many other cultures the butterfly is seen as a symbol for the soul.

Was symbolism intended when I wrote my picture book, Where Do Butterflies Go at Night?

If you had asked me when I first wrote it in 2009, I would have said `no’, but I now question if I didn’t have more in mind than even I knew. I submitted “Butterflies” to agents and traditional publishers for many years. Although I often got positive feedback, it was ultimate;y rejected because it was in rhyme, and rhyme is hard to sell.

A small, independent publisher saw the beauty in my story of the magical imaginings of a child who wondered where the butterflies went at night. It was published with the lovely art of Stella Maris Mongodi, who brought the sweet simplicity of the cabbage white butterfly to life in a whole new and charming way.

When the original publisher closed its doors, I self-published this, my debut picture book, now identifying it as “2nd Edition.” In 2025, it won a first place award in the poetry category from a prestigious reviewer of children’s books. And in my most recent picture book school presentation, I decided to do something a little differently.

In emphasizing the concept of change from caterpillar to butterfly, I talked with 1st and 2nd graders about the importance of embracing change; being brave in the face of change; and understanding that all change is ultimately working in our favor. One might think little ones wouldn’t get that, but they did. Sometimes wiser than we adults, they did.

And so, the butterfly has become a symbol of transformation for me, as well. I’ve gone through many changes with these butterflies and their story. They continue to light my path, and I am still unfolding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where Do Butterflies Go at Night, 2nd Edition is available on Amazon and in also my Etsy shop, if you would like your copy signed.

Photo credits:
BW butterfly: pexels/6th Era Photography; @stories_by_sixthera
Blue butterfly: pexels/aarngiri; @aarn_giri
Cabbage white butterfly: pexels/mali maeder
Butterfly illustration: Stella Maris Mongodi

Snow Days

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When snow hits as hard as it has yesterday and this morning, there’s not much to do but stay inside and hunker down.

It was a good day to make soup, which I did (above), broccoli and potato with Parmesan, something to warm the insides while you wonder if your power will stay on.

But inasmuch as there are concerns about what will happen when the entire Eastern seaboard of the United States has been shut down in a state of emergency, there is still the magic of a major snowfall. There are memories of being a child and waking up to a world covered in snow, getting the news that school has been cancelled, and there being a snow fort to build in the afternoon.

Thankfully, where I live has made it through so far – power is on, and we’re slowly digging out – but other areas have over 2′ feet of snow and another 8 hours to go before it all ends.

A huge shout out of gratitude to the linemen who are up in the wires and telephone poles restoring electricity. In New Jersey alone, there are 1,700 linemen, including assistance from nearby states, plus hundreds of support people helping, as well. Thank you to all the snowplow drivers opening our roads, and emergency workers who are risking their lives in the cold and snow to save lives.

Please be careful out there and stay safe..

Nineteen Minutes

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Nineteen minutes is how long it took for high school junior Peter Houghton to enter Sterling High and kill ten people and wound another nineteen. However, it took his whole life from when he was first bullied at five years old to that point, having endured years of emotional and physical abuse from his classmates, to now, when he’d finally had enough.

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult is a complex, challenging, and astonishing read which covers many issues beyond the central focus of the school shooting. Bullying is the thread weaving the entire story together. The novel focuses primarily on one character, Peter, who could never seem to fit in. His non-stop torment began his first day on the bus to kindergarten when bigger kids threw his cherished Superman lunchbox out the window. Peter was five, and had dreamed of his first day of school. Josie, like Peter, and a good friend when they were young, had also always felt out of place until high school, when she became the girlfriend of a popular boy. Being bullied and treated abusively by him was the price Josie paid for her popularity.

Nineteen Minutes is about the many ways a child can be failed, even if unintentionally, by family, friends, and school. It asks what it means to be different in today’s society, and who has the right to judge another. It talks about how easily entire lives can be destroyed; how the truth comes out in the end; and how justice may be served.

Nineteen Minutes is also about individuals and families who are truly doing the best they can in trying to understand the young people in their lives. Ultimately, the book is about love, friendship, judgment, pain, redemption, and death, played out in the lead-up and aftermath of just nineteen minutes of violence.

Ms. Picoult has scrupulously researched every detail and aspect of school shootings and the myriad fields related to them, including forensics, court proceedings, the psychology of school shooters, and more. Her novel is also a consistently banned book, but it might also be the book that teens, their parents, and teachers most need to read.

Nineteen Minutes, published in 2007, is totally relevant today. It is incredibly impressive throughout, and packs an unexpected double punch at the end. It has left me thinking for days, wondering how, as such a supposedly advanced society, we are not doing better. Highly recommended.

This was a long post. If you’re still here, thanks for reading through to the end.

p.s. Last night, I continued to edit this piece, planning to post it today. When I opened my online news this morning, I found that there had been a school shooting in Tumbler Ridge, B.C., Canada. Nine total were killed, including the shooter who took their own life, and twenty-seven wounded. That this was transpiring while I wrote about school shootings confirmed that I needed to post this.

Photo credits: Hallway by Yash Patel/Unsplash; Bullying from WeStockProductions/Shutterstock