What I’ve Been Reading …

Or perhaps I should say what I’ve been reading, but haven’t been blogging about. It seems there are just times when blogging about books isn’t as compelling as reading them and moving on to the next one. Here’s my book list over the last few months from the most recent back …

Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli – what a wonderful, extraordinarily well-written YA novel.  Truly this book deserves to be written about at great length, (and I’m sure has been elsewhere on the web), but as this being only the second of Jerry Spinelli’s books I’ve read, I must say how impressed I am. Told in the first person by a child who only knows his name to be stop thief, the tale takes place in 1939 during the Nazi occupation of Warsaw. How the lives of everyone changed as the Jackboots settled in the city, as Jews and others were herded into the newly-created ghetto and later forced onto trains, as people slowly starved, as smugglers were hung, and friends made and lost is what the author describes. Stop thief goes through many transformations during this time, including being given a history as a gypsy to try and protect him, and observes the horrors of the Nazi occupation. Yet somehow, these horrors became an integral part of everyday life in ways I cannot imagine, and the story is seamlessly told through the eyes of this child. Milkweed is so different from The Book Thief, and seemed so much more accessible to me, for lack of a better word. I highly recommend it.

Bunnicula, The Howliday Inn and The Celery Stalks at Midnight by James Howe (and Deborah Howe in Bunnicula only) – I had expected more of Bunnicula, the vampire bunny, but in these three consecutive middle grade mysteries, each becomes better than the previous with funny dog and cat characters trying to solve them. The best of the three for me was The Howliday Inn, as it was the most complex and the humor was getting better, too.

Great Joy – Kate DiCamillo and illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline – I picked this picture book up for the magnificent illustrations, but was disappointed in the story. And I really do enjoy DiCamillo’s writing. Something was missing for me, but the illos were fabulous.

Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins – this YA novel is a Newbery winner. For me, it wasn’t as absorbing as many of the other YA novels I’ve been reading, but it was a very true-to-life depiction of  that awkward time when kids grow into adolescents. It takes place in the 60’s, and shows the growth of several young boys and girls and their relationships. Not heavy on plot, but nice – and nicely drawn –  characters.

Wolves in the Walls by Neil Gaiman – this was unexpected as I hadn’t realized it would be a graphic novel/picture book! For some reason I had expected a YA novel like The Graveyard Book (yet to be read). However, I loved the story and the fabulous illustrations by Dave McKean, who also did Coraline, and which really make this book come alive.

Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen – a story of an abused woman, who finally reaches out to get help to save her life, taking her son with her as well. This help takes place in being given another identity and being relocated in another part of the country by a little publicized agency who specializes in helping abused women. However, Fran Benedetto cannot escape her police officer husband forever as he wants his 10 year old son back, and somewhere, in an untold story behind hers, is searching for both of them. This book is hard to put down, and recounts, through her eyes, the “accidents” that she can no longer bear nor justify to others, and her new life which almost seems normal. The abuse is harrowing and painful to read at times, and her new life is always overshadowed for the reader with the anxiety of Bobby finding her. A good read.

Heaven Eyes by David Almond – a YA novel by one of my favorite authors. Almond’s characters and plots are so uniquely his own. There is a magic threading through all of his stories which happens to resonate with something in me every time without fail. Heaven Eyes is a child who is living with an elderly man who saved her from the muck outside a deserted industrial site. Three runaways from an orphanage up the river land on the edge of the brackish mud adjacent to where she lives, and their intertwining stories unfold slowly to reveal a deeply disturbed man and a child who’s been given a history not based in reality. The three orphans are well-drawn characters in their own right with their own history, and find drama and revelation in their encounter with Heaven Eyes and Grandpa. Ultimately, they  must decide to stay in an unreal environment or hope to return to the world from which they came, bringing Heaven Eyes and her spirituality with them. A Fantastic read, (and I’m truly not doing it justice here.)

No Small Thing by Natalie Ghent – a middle-grade novel about 3 children who acquire an unwanted pony during very rough times for their family. Their mother tries to keep it together after their father walked out on them, profoundly affecting them all. It is a story in part about the responsibilities of owning a pet, but also of the children’s relationships, caring for one another and managing their lives together. Some good spots, but for me, was just OK.

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

Hunting Ground by Patricia Briggs – from the Alpha and Omega Series. Fabulous. The first Briggs novel I read was Moon Called, and this is a storyteller whose books I cannot put down!

During this time I am reading one or more metaphysical books on an ongoing basis, but that, for another time …

Spring – New Lease on Life

Ripping apart an existing workspace, cleaning, and putting it back together – with a new rug – is a very satisfying thing. And I thank Spring for this. With the longer daylight hours and warmer temps so I can open the doors, I was finally in the mood. Ahhhhh – a new work space!

Having a clear workspace to write, edit, sketch is, I think, critical to an artist – at least, this one! I have a studio space upstairs, and a nice area for my computer/graphics work, but on my main workdesk, all my children’s book stuff was in stacks, hanging on to corners, etc. I knew it needed re-organization, but those short days and always-too-quickly-arriving winter evenings were not conducive to tackling the job. I’d bought a nice new area rug to fit in the U-shaped workspace last September, but there it stood, rolled up and leaning against a bookcase. Then Spring hit!

As the rug was too wide for the space, (I had eye-balled it, not measured), I had to take my desk apart. I built my desktop years ago out of a birch veneer flush door to which I attached 1″ square molding all around, to fit snugly on top of 2 file cabinets. Heavy file cabinets. So there was no choice but to take it all apart and start all over so I could make room for the rug. EVERYTHING got sorted, cleaned, re-organized. Now, all my children’s book stuff is at my fingertips. Stuff that I no longer work on got trashed or relocated so I can sit and be inspired the second I sit down, surrounded by everything I want to be working on.

I’m amazed at how exciting this is, but now I have direct access to my dreams, all the time. My friend said I Feng Shui’d my office. I know a little about Feng Shui, and if I did? It was a fortuitous accident. But there it is.  Woo hoo! Thanks, Spring!

And .. if you hadn’t noticed … the new set-up immediately got the Claude Seal of Approval.

Quote from Gilda Radner

While searching for a suitable quote for a job I was working on, I came across the following. As an aspiring author and illustrator of children’s books and a fan, it struck a chord with me.

I always found Gilda Radner to be a fabulous and funny comedienne. She died too young at 42 from ovarian cancer.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
~Gilda Radner

French Bulldog Sketches – III

Because French Bulldogs are a main feature on in my shop, and my artwork is featured quarterly in Just Frenchies magazine, many people ask me if I have a Frenchie of my own … they assume I must. The answer is no, not yet. I love the bully breeds, and I love drawing and photographing them, and I’ve become completely enamored with Frenchies over the last 5 years that I have been drawing them. So much so, that a Frenchie is the heroine in more than one of the children’s books I am working on.

But having a dog is a whole lot different than drawing and writing about one. In the 18″ of snow we’ve been hit with here recently … and repeatedly, I vividly recall what it was like not so long ago when I had two dogs, one of whom did not wish to sully her paws in that fluffy white stuff. And that was at 6:30 in the morning.

But that’s only a part of it. Dogs require time … especially a new dog. I will want to do what I always do – walk, socialize, obedience train, play and so on. Although it could change any moment, right now I would find it difficult to commit to the time I know I will give a dog.

And then, there’s kitty politics. Already an uneasy balance exists here – Miss Bossy Boots (Gypsy) spends way too much time scheming of ways to make Mewsette’s life miserable, and it’s not clear what tossing a dog in the mix might do. Although Claude would probably have a new best friend in 3 days. I firmly believe that when I am supposed to have a dog, the one that absolutely must be mine will appear.

So for now I draw. And write.

Featured here are a few more sketches, either in plain old pen, (my absolute favorite, by the way, for writing and general sketching, is Pentel R.S.V.P. Medium. It is one of THE best balanced writing pens on the market – you can feel it when you hold the pen with the cap on the end – just perfect!), and to the right, loose colored pencil. Enjoy.

Order French Bulldog cards and art here!

Note: All illustrations, drawings and photographs are © Jeanne Balsam and may not be reproduced in any format without written permission. Thank you!

 

Letting Go of Fear … in Creativity, in Life

Fear is the antithesis of love. We are in fear when we bemoan our fate that we are not yet published. We are in fear when we relentlessly edit and re-edit and edit yet again something that, in all likelihood, is just fine. We are in fear when we overwork an aspect of our illustration, striving for some elusive perfection. It’s not that uncommon to think and behave this way. Most of us were raised to be good, to be perfect, to be loved conditionally. As were those who raised us.

And what we most need in our lives, our work, is not fear, but love. When we write and illustrate books for children, we always bring forth our best work when it is coming out of love … not anxiety about its success or perfection, or how well we are faring compared to others, or how much recognition we’ll gain. But love. It would seem so easy, but for so many of us it is not.

Below is the quote that I had mentioned in my last post. It is by Marianne Williamson, metaphysical teacher, and from the book A Return to Love, her reflections on  the principles of A Course in Miracles, published in 1975. All of Williamson’s work is focused on growing into our richest selves, letting go of fear and living truly in love. And I believe it has a profound meaning for us as we  venture forth as writers and artists, aspiring to light the way for children.

Everyday Grace

My deepest fear is not that I am inadequate.
My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure.
It is my light, not my darkness, that most frightens me.
I ask myself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who am I not to be? I am a child of God. My playing small
does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around me. I am meant to
shine, as children do. I was born to manifest the glory of God that is within me.
It’s not just in me; it’s in everyone.
And as I let my own light shine, I unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As I am liberated from my own fear,
my presence automatically liberates others.

These words struck me so deeply in their undeniable truth. As a writer and illustrator of children’s books, aspiring to bring my gifts to young people, I can soar to heights in joy as I work or tumble to crushing frustration. Fear. All fear. And though living lives through fear in varying degrees is common to so many people on the planet, it seems to almost be the inheritance of all sensitive, creative people. I know there is a better way; I’ve known for a long time, and so, I suspect, have you.

From time to time, books, individuals, ideas, etc.  cross our paths, and usually, at times when we are ready to take the next step out of fear and into grace … into love. This book has been sitting on my bookshelf for about 9 months, and through a mention of the quote above from a friend, I took this book from the shelf. It was time – there are no coincidences.

Living in love, free of fear, is a great challenge. We were not raised that way. Shaman and author Don Miguel Ruiz calls it “domestication.” It is all the same. And what’s so wonderful is that there is never a bad time  to take another step, to let go of fear and our belief that we should be small, to believe instead  in the love and brilliance we are.

I find A Return to Love an amazing book, as is A Woman’s Worth, both by Williamson. Perhaps an inspiration for you, too. Please also know, if it makes a difference to you, that Williamson’s writings do not espouse any specific religious orientation – her writing is of a spiritual nature, and so speaks to us all.