In the Moment

IceCreamSky2

At 4:30 this morning I was jarred into awakening by the sound of my currently empty garbage can hurtling across my back porch to points South. (It was placed there as the least likely spot to be pushed around by winds gusting to 50 mph. Clearly, the wind knew better than I.)

And at that pre-dawn hour, when many unwelcome thoughts clamber into our consciousness, a score of them crowded my mind. They all had to do with the future and with things that in all likelihood would never come to pass. But such is the mindset when we are catapulted into wakefulness from a sound sleep.

Some time later, curled up on the couch with my coffee and happily-fed, drowsy cats, I opened up to read from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. In language far more poetic than my own, he described the ancient human challenge of staying in the miracle that is and not falling into the black hole of what is not. He provided a simple breathing exercise to let go of all the imagined outcomes that are not yet real. In other words, be in the moment. Perfect.

So this evening, just about 12 hours after my abrupt morning awakening, I was working at my desk. The wind continued to wrestle with the trees and I looked out the window to see the magnificent sky pictured above. At first, I thought to continue my work. Then I realized that that sky was the miracle of now, exactly what I had been reading about and reflecting upon. I chose that moment.

Finding Ourselves

SomethingMore-SBBreathnach2Unwrapped Christmas gifts are calling, laundry’s going, and a million other things are turning in my head. How about you? It occurred to me quite some time ago that if it weren’t for women, there would be no Christmas, no Thanksgiving, no birthday celebrations, no parties celebrating milestones in someone’s life … we sure do keep it all going. But I digress.

Either life looked simpler when we were growing up or our mothers were masters at hiding the juggling acts we now perform nearly 24/7. I opt for the former. There is always so much going on, so many demands, that one of the first things to get lost is us … ourselves. As regular readers of this blog know, there are always 2 books to the right. A novel, (usually), and below it a book that provides me with some sort of inspiration for the current time in my life. Sometimes we need some enlightenment … some guidance … a little light to show us the way and brighten our tomorrows.

At the top, Paradise by Toni Morrison is an unbelievably fabulous book, but it’s been sitting there for awhile because it’s not the kind of book you can just leave off and pick up – you want to really read it. So until I can devote that time again, Toni will wait until I can give her my full attention. She and Paradise deserve that much. The book below represents the third one I’ve been in and out of, trying to find what speaks to me now.

SimpleAbundance-SBBAnd the winner is …. Something More by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Her first book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy was also a winner, and one I’ve read more than once. What Sarah does is speak to the woman in us who is longing to find herself amid the million things that tug at our sleeves, and even amid a life where we have it quite good in so many ways, a life for which we are truly grateful.

But what’s more? What is it that we never quite have the time for in our lives? Our dreamer … our true self who gets buried or abandoned for so many reasons, the woman with whom we’ve lost touch along the way. Sarah brings us back to that self.

In the beginning section, Our Authentic Lives, she tells us, ” ….How many conversations would I not only have started but finished if I had known I possessed a warrior’s heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms.”

It’s hard to argue with that. So here we all are, amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, being stretched in every direction from what’s related to them and what’s not, but we needn’t be lost. We can search out and still find that beautiful woman, (or man), who wants to take on the world in the most meaningful and authentic way. Yes, it does take a wee bit of time each day, however we do it, but aren’t we worth it? Right now, my gentle illumination – my reminder to remember me – is in this book. You may find yours elsewhere, but that wee bit of time is yours for the making and taking.

Just as we have so much more love to give when we genuinely love ourselves, we have that much more to give when we have found our true selves and are living the life we are meant to live. We are given today.

French Bulldog Holiday Cards

JBalsam-strangersnowAdorable French Bulldogs are waiting to pick up some envelopes and rush out to your house, just in time to send to family and friends.

These little cuties are on my web site … take a look at the French Bulldog Christmas cards you want to send!

You may also want to consider unique blank notecards featuring French Bulldogs as fabulous gifts for your Frenchie loving friends and family, (or actually just anyone who loves sending an adorable card!)

Note: All illustrations, drawings and photographs are © Jeanne Balsam and may not be reproduced in any format without written permission. Thank you!

Learning History Backwards

History seems determined to find me. I haven’t been looking for history, but somehow I am bring coaxed into looking at periods in time of which I know little or nothing, most recently British colonial rule in Kenya in the 50’s. I know. How did that happen? (Well, one look at the photo, and you may know.)

TheFirstGrader-KerryBrown2Like the experience of many others in a time past – and perhaps still the present – history was taught in such a way that it was guaranteed to, at the very least, leave no lasting impression, and at the worst, develop in one a real distaste for it. The latter would be me. I dutifully swallowed the dry rattle of names, dates, places and events and dutifully coughed them back up for tests. Not until I got to college and had a brilliant professor who made history truly come alive did I suddenly realize the fascination of history. And by then it seemed too late; I had such a fragile and spotty framework of knowledge on which to hang any new historical insights.

But history seems to be hunting me down through  books and/or movies as of late … Afghanistan before and after the Taliban took over through The Kite Runner; the deep South during the Civil Rights movement in The Help; the Civil War period in Oklahoma in what I’m reading now, Paradise, medieval times in Britain in The Last Templar and so on. History isn’t the subject; it’s the backdrop, but it’s impossible to not be drawn into the history of the time period when reading the book or watching the movie.

Most recently it’s The First Grader, a movie set in Kenya in 2003. It’s based on the true story of an 84 year old villager, Maruge, who, when primary education was made available to all, wanted to learn to read. The story is absolutely inspiring. There he sat, having fought repeatedly for his right to do so, with six year olds, five to a desk, learning the alphabet. His rapport with Jane Obinchu, the instructor, and the children is a testament to the spirit of those who believe in something enough to pursue that dream and love doing it in spite of all odds.

What was far more difficult to watch, shown in sporadic flashbacks, was what happened to Maruge in the early 50’s when he was sentenced to a prison camp under British colonial rule. The Mau Mau tribe, whom  Maruge had joined, had risen up against the corrupt British but were defeated and captured. To force him to renounce his vow of loyalty, his captors forced him to watch the execution of his wife and children, (this was not shown onscreen), and tortured him brutally. It was hard to not wake up the following morning flooded with sadness as to what has gone so wrong in human beings that they can treat others as they did.

But in the long run, that does not change my recommendation to see this incredibly rich and touching movie. The First Grader was filmed in Kenya, and all the children are actual attendees of one of the schools in the Kenyan bush. Their glowing faces just light up the screen. One little girl named Agnes, seemed mildly deformed and had a severe limp like Maruge. She told him she wanted to go to school so she could be a doctor … and then she could make him better. The children have almost as much impact as Maruge himself. It’s hard not to smile when thinking about this movie, in spite of the reflection of such a terrible time in history.

Maruge became the oldest recorded person in the world to ever attend first grade and drew his own bit of celebrity for his devotion to education. So much so, that he was flown to New York to speak at the UN. Should you watch The First Grader, be sure to watch the short documentary and you will see the real Maruge, Jane Obinchu and others. You will also see how the director worked with the children who had never seen a television or movie. You may be inspired.

It Starts with A Mug and A Plate

ChristmasMugAndPlate2Or, in reality, 4 mugs and 4 plates. Christmas creeps into my home, ever so slowly, drawing from this cabinet, that closet, this box, that drawer. But it always seems to start with my dollar store Christmas plates and German made Christmas mugs. I feel like a child who has glimpsed a stack of unfamiliar boxes tucked way on top of mommy and daddy’s closet. Something exciting is coming.

These simple items that I’ve had for quite a few years put a smile on my face, and though I see beautiful Christmas dishes everywhere that I’d love to have, I pretty much know I’ll also be happy with these for years to come. They’re enough. And oftentimes, enough is good.

As I watched the TV commercials for Black Friday insanity, my newspapers packed with shiny paper catalogs filled with sales, I wondered how we got to this place of endless need for so much “stuff.” It’s not that I don’t treasure a new addition to my kitchen, book shelf, or whatever … I really do, but there’s also an enjoyment of things that have been around a while, and which have meaning. Especially at this time of year.

So the plates and mugs have now been joined by some festive place mats, candles and accessories. Slowly, the house will really start to feel like Christmas, warm and glow-y … well, like Home.