Finding Ourselves

SomethingMore-SBBreathnach2Unwrapped Christmas gifts are calling, laundry’s going, and a million other things are turning in my head. How about you? It occurred to me quite some time ago that if it weren’t for women, there would be no Christmas, no Thanksgiving, no birthday celebrations, no parties celebrating milestones in someone’s life … we sure do keep it all going. But I digress.

Either life looked simpler when we were growing up or our mothers were masters at hiding the juggling acts we now perform nearly 24/7. I opt for the former. There is always so much going on, so many demands, that one of the first things to get lost is us … ourselves. As regular readers of this blog know, there are always 2 books to the right. A novel, (usually), and below it a book that provides me with some sort of inspiration for the current time in my life. Sometimes we need some enlightenment … some guidance … a little light to show us the way and brighten our tomorrows.

At the top, Paradise by Toni Morrison is an unbelievably fabulous book, but it’s been sitting there for awhile because it’s not the kind of book you can just leave off and pick up – you want to really read it. So until I can devote that time again, Toni will wait until I can give her my full attention. She and Paradise deserve that much. The book below represents the third one I’ve been in and out of, trying to find what speaks to me now.

SimpleAbundance-SBBAnd the winner is …. Something More by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Her first book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy was also a winner, and one I’ve read more than once. What Sarah does is speak to the woman in us who is longing to find herself amid the million things that tug at our sleeves, and even amid a life where we have it quite good in so many ways, a life for which we are truly grateful.

But what’s more? What is it that we never quite have the time for in our lives? Our dreamer … our true self who gets buried or abandoned for so many reasons, the woman with whom we’ve lost touch along the way. Sarah brings us back to that self.

In the beginning section, Our Authentic Lives, she tells us, ” ….How many conversations would I not only have started but finished if I had known I possessed a warrior’s heart? I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn’t have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms.”

It’s hard to argue with that. So here we all are, amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, being stretched in every direction from what’s related to them and what’s not, but we needn’t be lost. We can search out and still find that beautiful woman, (or man), who wants to take on the world in the most meaningful and authentic way. Yes, it does take a wee bit of time each day, however we do it, but aren’t we worth it? Right now, my gentle illumination – my reminder to remember me – is in this book. You may find yours elsewhere, but that wee bit of time is yours for the making and taking.

Just as we have so much more love to give when we genuinely love ourselves, we have that much more to give when we have found our true selves and are living the life we are meant to live. We are given today.

Learning History Backwards

History seems determined to find me. I haven’t been looking for history, but somehow I am bring coaxed into looking at periods in time of which I know little or nothing, most recently British colonial rule in Kenya in the 50’s. I know. How did that happen? (Well, one look at the photo, and you may know.)

TheFirstGrader-KerryBrown2Like the experience of many others in a time past – and perhaps still the present – history was taught in such a way that it was guaranteed to, at the very least, leave no lasting impression, and at the worst, develop in one a real distaste for it. The latter would be me. I dutifully swallowed the dry rattle of names, dates, places and events and dutifully coughed them back up for tests. Not until I got to college and had a brilliant professor who made history truly come alive did I suddenly realize the fascination of history. And by then it seemed too late; I had such a fragile and spotty framework of knowledge on which to hang any new historical insights.

But history seems to be hunting me down through  books and/or movies as of late … Afghanistan before and after the Taliban took over through The Kite Runner; the deep South during the Civil Rights movement in The Help; the Civil War period in Oklahoma in what I’m reading now, Paradise, medieval times in Britain in The Last Templar and so on. History isn’t the subject; it’s the backdrop, but it’s impossible to not be drawn into the history of the time period when reading the book or watching the movie.

Most recently it’s The First Grader, a movie set in Kenya in 2003. It’s based on the true story of an 84 year old villager, Maruge, who, when primary education was made available to all, wanted to learn to read. The story is absolutely inspiring. There he sat, having fought repeatedly for his right to do so, with six year olds, five to a desk, learning the alphabet. His rapport with Jane Obinchu, the instructor, and the children is a testament to the spirit of those who believe in something enough to pursue that dream and love doing it in spite of all odds.

What was far more difficult to watch, shown in sporadic flashbacks, was what happened to Maruge in the early 50’s when he was sentenced to a prison camp under British colonial rule. The Mau Mau tribe, whom  Maruge had joined, had risen up against the corrupt British but were defeated and captured. To force him to renounce his vow of loyalty, his captors forced him to watch the execution of his wife and children, (this was not shown onscreen), and tortured him brutally. It was hard to not wake up the following morning flooded with sadness as to what has gone so wrong in human beings that they can treat others as they did.

But in the long run, that does not change my recommendation to see this incredibly rich and touching movie. The First Grader was filmed in Kenya, and all the children are actual attendees of one of the schools in the Kenyan bush. Their glowing faces just light up the screen. One little girl named Agnes, seemed mildly deformed and had a severe limp like Maruge. She told him she wanted to go to school so she could be a doctor … and then she could make him better. The children have almost as much impact as Maruge himself. It’s hard not to smile when thinking about this movie, in spite of the reflection of such a terrible time in history.

Maruge became the oldest recorded person in the world to ever attend first grade and drew his own bit of celebrity for his devotion to education. So much so, that he was flown to New York to speak at the UN. Should you watch The First Grader, be sure to watch the short documentary and you will see the real Maruge, Jane Obinchu and others. You will also see how the director worked with the children who had never seen a television or movie. You may be inspired.

Farewell to A Book

Putting a book away when it has offered such insight and wisdom can be quite difficult for me. When the author has brought information that is new, or even what we may know, but framed in a completely different way, it is a gift. Especially when we are being reminded throughout of the magnificence of our spirit … who wants to let that go?

In Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer, I found a reframing of things I have been learning in a different and practical way … simple tools to practice regularly to help me change some of my thinking that would result in my being happier, lighter in the world and more able to manifest my dreams. His referencing some of the renowned spiritual teachers who have walked the planet, some of whom still do, has brought home the universality of direction we all could take if we open our hearts and minds.

As with so many things, incorporating his suggestions into everyday life is something to not just keep in mind, but practice. It’s a way of changing our concepts of ourselves and all for the better. If you are seeking to manifest your dreams, which may be as basic as having improved health, you might enjoy Wishes Fulfilled, available through Hay House, its publisher, or Amazon. (The price is the same at either location, and at Hay House you will support a smaller company dedicated to growth of all kinds.)

So Dr. Dyer will go in a particular bookcase in my home and join other books that have offered their wisdom to me. On the final page of Wishes Fulfilled, he summarizes the concepts he’s shared, and then quotes the following from Rumi, the 13th Century Persian poet, which is a great reflection of this book’s direction:

You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.

– Rumi

Can We Ever Have Too Many?

Probably the answer to that is `yes,’ but when I think about it being books, my head just seems to automatically move from side to side … no. We can’t.

Of course, I say this in my own defense, as well might you, in the face of Tuesday’s experience. I went to vote. Our town votes in the local library. There are no services for that day, but one can still roam about and  peruse the shelves. Well, the shelves I perused were the ones in front of the check-out desk which are always filled with used/unwanted/donated books for sale. $1.00 for hardcover, $.50 for paperback.

I asked one of the ladies helping out with voting if I could just leave the librarian some money for a few books. Of course I could, just no borrowing from the main shelves. (I bet they’re all in cahoots, I thought, conspiring to entice helpless readers.) I didn’t have change, so left a bigger bill which would cover the books and a small donation to the library along with a note.

I found another book by Amy Tan, The Kitchen God’s Wife, her next after her first big success. The Joy Luck Club. That seemed like a good bet. And then I found Toni Morrison’s latest novel, Paradise, a mystery about some evil goings-on in a convent outside a small Oklahoma town. Now that sounded interesting! And then in paperback, The Power of Silence, a later book by Carlos Castaneda, and also The Secret by Rhonda Byrne … the book. (I’ve only read the web site.) What a tasty little gathering of reads for such a pittance.

Now, that fortune cookie … technically, it belonged to my friend as I had already opened and eaten my cookie. Half of it was good advice … the generosity part. The perfection part? Well, sometimes that’s just a way to make ourselves crazy, but hey, it’s only a thought in a cellophane-wrapped, folder-over piece of fried dough, right? I have something more on my mind … I’m stalking through the freshly vacated rooms of the convent with men seeking justice in Paradise.

Body Surfing – Anita Shreve

One of the hallmarks of a good novel is that you cannot put it down; and for me, that was the case with Body Surfing by Anita Shreve.

In this novel, Shreve writes in current day with the New Hampshire shore as the backdrop. She studies the lives of her characters falling in love, in treacherous family rivalries, in kindness and resentment, in being lost.  Shreve’s writing is to the point. Nothing is wasted, and her pacing is flawless. She gives you exactly the details that are needed, but the depiction of her characters and their interrelation are what drives the story forward. She’s a writer that many of us could learn from.

In brief, this is the story of a young woman, Sydney, once married, once widowed, who takes on the summer job of tutoring Julie, the daughter of a fairly wealthy couple with a cottage at the shore. She hopes the experience will offer her some healing from her recent loss. Family gatherings soon introduce the couple’s sons, Jeff and Ben, both of whom seem to take an interest in Sydney. The mother, Mrs. Edwards, is immediately resentful; Mr. Edwards, eminently kind and caring, always wants what’s best for everyone. It doesn’t take long before events start to spiral out of control, and Sydney is caught in the intricacies of family relationships which are both hidden and destructive.

I really enjoyed the rapid pace of Body Surfing and how easily I was pulled in to the characters and their complicity. And I appreciated that while Shreve had me emotionally invested in Sydney, Ben, Jeff, Julie and the family, she did so without ripping my heart out. A perfect read for me right now.