Fishing for Heartbreak

July 22, 2013July 22, 2013 / still a dreamer / 2 Comments

When I was a child of 10 or 11, my Dad suggested we all go fishing at Cooper’s Pond in the town nearby. He made it sound like fun, so off we went.

Cooper’s Pond was a lovely park, the same place our family went to enjoy picnics or walking. On these outings, I brought along my Brownie camera that I’d been given at 9 years old, and I loved taking photos of the ducks on the pond as well as feeding them. What wouldn’t be enjoyable about fishing?

We didn’t have real fishing poles, just long sticks to which my Dad had secured some kind of line, maybe string, with a hook on the end. On the hooks, we put a piece of bread, and then we cast our lines into the water. It didn’t take long before I got a nibble, and something tugged at my line. My father got all excited, and instructed me to pull it toward me and then lift it out of the water.

There on the end of my line was a carp, probably only about 7″ long, writhing and twisting to free itself of the hook I had managed to snag in its sensitive mouth. I was horrified that I was the cause of this poor creature to be flailing about so, and I immediately began to cry, screaming, “Daddy, take it off! Daddy, take it off!” Daddy removed the hook from the fish and gently let him go back in the water, but I was inconsolable.

Who was I to have caused this animal such pain and make him fight for his life? As a child, I had not been able to make the connection between “having fun fishing” and the reality of a fish writhing on the end of my hook until I saw the results firsthand. I was heartbroken, I who fed all the ducks in that exact same spot, I who loved all animals from the earliest age I can remember.

It wasn’t until many years later, even still, that I made the next major connection that the meat or fish I cooked and ate had once been a sentient being. This is not what we’re ever told as children. The meat or fish served at meals appeared as a finished dish, prepared in some usually delicious way. One had nothing to do with the other.

The constantly evolving realization over time that the food on my plate had indeed been a living creature … and one who most likely suffered enormously before getting to my plate … enabled me to gradually eliminate almost all meat and fish from my diet in recent years. This is a plus as I move along the path to becoming vegan, but the earliest seeds of this transformation were sown when a little girl went fishing and found a humble carp to be her teacher.

Here is a dilemma I ponder nowadays … how, in writing children’s books, can I impart to young readers, without scaring them to death, of course, that the animals they eat for dinner are no different in their capacity for contentment or pain than the animals they love as pets? That animals from chickens to elephants, honeybees to pigs, have complex lives of their own, social structures, families, attachments to their babies, and that maybe it’s not the right thing – the kind thing – to use them for our own ends, to cause them such suffering. Is it enough to simply engender a love and appreciation of animals?

Surprised by Roses

July 17, 2013 / still a dreamer / 6 Comments

I can’t even tell you the last time I can remember being sent flowers. So when these beauties arrived by delivery yesterday I was beyond surprised!

Take a look at them – the selection is called Sorbet Roses and the colors are just amazing. What was equally amazing is how they blossomed in water overnight. (I’m sure the heat doesn’t hurt.) The scent of roses permeates the room … ahhhhhhh! I thought to share a photo or two I took because, really, how often does one receive roses? (And if you’re someone who does, lucky you!)

As the roses opened, I noticed something interesting – one of the roses, the pink one below, has a double center – almost a tiny rose within the rose. I’m taking that as a good-luck sign. (Why? Because I can!) And my thanks to my very thoughtful friend for sending such a lovely surprise.

Of course, we are always worthy of treating ourselves and buying flowers just for us. We deserve it! And indeed, I had taken to occasionally treating myself to a small bouquet of fresh blooms from the local market when I went shopping. That became short-lived due to one busybody feline named Gypsy Rose. Overnight, and never in front of me, to be sure, she made her way up to whatever counter, table, etc. I’d placed them on, and proceeded to dismantle them. I’d find petals all over the table, sometimes complete flowers broken off. I even tried putting them on top of the fridge at night, but she just jumped higher to wreak her kitty havoc. I tired of finding what was this small treat to myself in disarray each morning, so just gave up.

And while I still greatly miss the departed Miss Rose, of course, it was almost a surprise to find the roses in the morning all in one piece!

Vegan 4th of July Picnic Salad

July 4, 2013July 4, 2013 / still a dreamer / 2 Comments

This was so easy it’s almost silly to even post it as a special dish! My picnic host, (a meat eater), was open to having our meal vegan style, so I said I would make a “main dish” salad, he would make a variation of his famous potato salad without eggs or dairy, (i.e. mayo), and he’d make a fruit salad for dessert. Since I know he likes meat, I offered to bring my own veggie hot dog and bun while he grilled whatever inspired him. Surprisingly, he said “I’ll have a veggie dog, too.” So there we have it … an easy vegan picnic!

The salad, completely organic, consists of whole wheat chioccioli pasta, (look like little snail shells), orange pepper, lightly steamed fresh asparagus, zucchini, and chick peas in a dressing of EVOO, lemon juice, a nice amount of garlic, salt and pepper. I also ventured into the world of tofu to replace what I would have normally added … feta cheese. I crumbled a bunch in, but I think in the future, I would marinate it in the dressing ahead of time. I adjusted the seasonings and added a bit more lemon juice when I packed the salad up.

Voila! Easy-peasy, delicious and healthy!

Happy Fourth of July!

Utterly Simple, Extraordinarily Wonderful

May 29, 2013 / still a dreamer / 6 Comments

When I first moved to my current address, I was a bit disappointed when I was requested not to plant anything in the ground. I was asked to please limit myself to potting flowers or plants on my porches. While at first that seemed a big restriction, I soon remembered an earlier home I lived in where I was on an half acre. Initially, I was ecstatic. A former owner was a gardening wizard and had all kinds of things growing from Spring to Fall, and lots of beds for the annuals of my choice. I particularly loved planting around my mailbox each year. (I’d never had a free-standing mailbox in my life, and this stood at the line where my property met the road.)

As an artist, I was loving creating fabulous color areas and changing them each year. Having come from an apartment, I also loved mowing the grass and raking the leaves of the many, many trees on my half acre. By about the fifth year, the enthusiasm was wearing off, and while I still loved my wonderful piece of land, life had gotten busier and I realized that all that landscaping was a major commitment. I never stopped doing it, but it had also become work.

So here I have a much smaller and more manageable gardening world … seating arrangements and tables which hold whatever annuals I pot for any particular year … and it’s just fine. This year I fell in love with, (among other flowers), miniature pansies, and planted two pots with two colors, a two tone purple and a delicate purple and yellow. Yesterday I started to pinch them back so they wouldn’t become too leggy, and rather than toss what I’d taken, I put them in a jelly jar on my desk. And here they sit, bringing a smile to my face each time I look at them.

I am reminded of how little it can take to bring happiness, and how something so utterly simple can be so extraordinarily wonderful. That the pansies are sitting in a jelly jar from the nearby farm that makes their own delicious jams, jellies and sauces even makes me happy. There are times when life’s stresses and busy-ness take us away from what’s right in front of our noses. And sometimes what’s there is really all we need.

The Consolation Chair

April 30, 2013 / still a dreamer / 4 Comments

If you’re sensing that there may be a bit of a double-entendre in that title, you are so right.

Here you see a photo of a wingback chair, new to me. In some ways, it seemed to have arrived in my possession as a consolation (prize) to offset a number of things I found myself having to deal with recently. And, being an item that I’ve wished I had for such a long time, I find it not only the most wonderful reading chair possible, but also one that consoles me when I curl up in its winged shape.

There really are times when we feel we’ve spent as much of our energy as we have coping with whatever is on our plates. But wait … the Universe has one more challenge to throw our way. Really? I say. Apparently so. In Living in the Light, Shakti Gawain writes about problems as messages. She says that when there are problems in our lives, it may be the Universe trying to get our attention, to tell us something we need to be aware of, something that needs to be changed. If we pay attention, we learn from the messages; if we don’t, the problems often intensify until we start to pay attention.

So I’d say I’ve been smacked quite smartly about now. And I am paying attention.

But back to the chair.

I’d gone across the street to my neighbors’ house to discuss something relevant to said problem and we chatted for an hour or so. When we came out, I noticed a wingback chair sitting at the end of another neighbor’s driveway in the spot where he usually puts out his garbage or recycling. Could that chair really be there for someone to pluck? I immediately sat in it. Possession is 9/10ths of the law, right? Mmmmm – comfy. He was mowing the lawn so we waved him down to see if, indeed, this chair was there for the taking. It was.

In no time, I had this chair, which had been in his family for quite some time and is in excellent condition, in my living room just waiting for me to grab a book and read. He was happy it went to someone he knew and I was thrilled to have it. (And of course, he has visiting privileges.) Somehow this chair appeared in that spot in a very brief period of time … it seemed meant for me, a consolation for an array of recent difficulties and for which I am very grateful.

I sit it in it and read and I sit in it and contemplate … exactly what is the message I’ve been assiduously avoiding that I needed such a wake-up call? Of course, I’m quite sure I know, and now I have someplace to sit and plan what steps I next need to take in my life. Funny how things work out.