Inspiration

A Better Choice than`I Should’

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

Ever noticed how often you say `I should’? Those two words negatively imply that you have already failed to do something you need, want, or don’t want to do. Flip it. Mentally cross out `I should’ and replace it with one of the choices offered.

If you make a consistent effort, you’ll notice 1) how often you are saying `I should’, and 2) an improved feeling of positivity in how you approach things.

Frequently using the words `I should’, is often the sign of having identified with and incorporated a figure in our past who criticized us. This person likely needed control over a situation, and was rarely happy with how we went about things in that it wasn’t the way they wanted it done. Thus, we ‘should’ do it some other way, at some different time, etc.

As children, we incorporate those sentiments and those words, and grow up criticizing ourselves over often meaningless things. The fact is that the one who did the criticizing was likely treated the same way, and didn’t have the skills or knowledge in raising us to approach things in better and more helpful ways.

It’s also true that we don’t have to continue criticizing ourselves. We can change, and flipping the switch – substituting positive words such as those above – is a surprisingly simple way to begin seeing ourselves and others in a more positive light. Be diligent!

Being Kind

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

You don’t want to hear the story
of my life, and anyway
I don’t want to tell it, I want to listen

to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.

And anyway
it’s the same old story —
a few people just trying,
one way or another,
to survive.

Mostly, I want to be kind.

– Mary Oliver

How Much Time for Ourselves?

/ still a dreamer / 6 Comments

Technically speaking, all our time is for ourselves, but when we ask this question, what is implied is how much time for things we don’t have to or should do. How much time for things that make us happy or give us pleasure? And how do we even know where that line is?

The bottom line is (speaking for myself), I am not getting any younger and there are things that are important to do, even if reading a book is one of them, or sharing time with like-minded people. There is always the reality that an income needs to be made, a house kept up, animals cared for, but what about the rest?

Raised in a society that firmly believes in a strong work ethic (which is fine to a degree), we are also often raised to believe that we should always be busy, “doing something” (meaningful is the implication there), and enjoy our reward at the end of the day or perhaps on the weekend. But what about if we toss our schedule and sit and read a book for a few hours smack dab in the middle of the (work) day? Or write? Or draw? Is that tyranny? Punishable by guilt?

Personally, I’m very tired of the restraints that are so incorporated in our brains that they became our reality. But that’s just the old reality we were raised with. I want to create a new reality. I am ready for the book you see here – it’s about changing everything and the way we perceive it and how we live and how we can heal ourselves. It requires learning, understanding, and focusing in a way that we were never taught, or even knew existed in those formative years. Change.

How much time is really for me? For ourselves? Why not change the equation?

On Being Vulnerable

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

There are still many outdated ideas running around that to be vulnerable is to be weak, and in this country, at least, especially if you’re a male. The truth of the matter is that to let our guard down and let someone in, or to truly open up to our own creativity and inner light … to be vulnerable … takes courage. That’s not weak — it’s brave.

And it takes trust, trust that we won’t be hurt, that we won’t fail, that we won’t find ourselves incapable of meeting the task at hand, whatever it might be.

As a visual artist, I find being vulnerable extremely challenging. As a writer, I am somewhow able to put my heart and soul into words, whether writing for myself, or as I did for over three decades, writing fundraising appeals for literally thousands of abused and neglected animals. I had only to look at their pain, and the words flowed. And our donors could feel what these animals suffered through my words, and helped support their healing and care.

Art? That takes digging deeper. I find myself in a daily dance of desire and resistance. What do you — what do we — find so frightening about pulling forth our art, in whatever form, from the depths of our being? Of laying it out in front of no one’s eyes but our own?

Being vulnerable, even to ourselves, can be a challenge. Finding the beautiful light within and letting it shine brilliantly is so important. The world needs us.

Walking Jazzy Home

/ still a dreamer / 12 Comments

We walked together for so many years – she, the Princess, and me, her happy minion – until the day when I walked her home. R.I. P. Jazzy – 7/12/24 – a small art treasure in feline form.

There is never a “good time” or a “good way” to lose an animal you love. It’s always awful. I think one of the worst moments is when you come home, and the spot they always sat to welcome you has no one there.

I adopted Jazzy at 3 years old, back in August, 2013, a few weeks after my handsome Claude passed over. She was a featured kitty at my local pet food shop, looking for a home, and she found mine. She had lived with an elderly man, who, I surmised, had not handled her very much. After getting through an adjustment period, she was not the cuddly cat my previous cats had been, albeit adorable.

Over the years that followed, she became increasingly affectionate, though I can say, she was the most dominant cat I have ever had. It was “her way or the highway” in kitty form – a picky eater, wouldn’t use a hooded litter box, and was pretty sure that I should plan meals and any other activities around her whims. Luckily, she was also sweet and charming, and now cuddly.

Perhaps a year or two ago, her glucose was high; we successfully controlled it with a special diet. Then her thyroid became hyperactive – more meds, which she was very cooperative in taking. Things kept moving along pretty well until about 6+ weeks ago, when she began caterwauling one or two times in the middle of the night.

I followed through with all needed lab tests, but they revealed nothing abnormal. Essentially, she was in good health, except somewhere inside her, she wasn’t. This past Friday, 7/12/2024, I noticed Jazzy acting strangely. I rushed her to the vet, and it soon became apparent, there was only going to be one ending to this story.

I am always grateful that I have been able to see something going wrong and to be able to do something about it before it became too late. I am grateful that there has always been a vet to help my animals in their final moments on Earth. I am also always grateful that I have been able to hold my animals in my arms, and help them pass over peacefully, loved until the end. I am grateful for Jazzy, and all the sweetness and light she brought into my life. I don’t think I could ask for more.