Women Helping Women or ….

February 17, 2012February 17, 2012 / still a dreamer

If you give to any charities, you are aware that most charities sell their mailing lists to other charities. So where you may be a regular supporter of a few, you receive scores of other appeals requesting your donations to support their mission.

I understand this. What I find particularly difficult is that because I truly believe in the charities I donate to, those organizations with similar missions often resonate deeply with me as well. How do we decide to whom we give when the funds available to give are limited? I already have a stack I’d like to give to and more requests continue to pour in. In the last couple weeks, I must have received at least 20 appeals, some from those I already give to, and many other charities with worthy missions that want me to come on board with them.

The piece in all of these that really caught my eye told me that:

One in three women worldwide are beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime
Up to 70% of women worldwide encounter violence.
As many as 6 out of 10 migrant women from Central America are raped on their journey to the United States
Native American and Alaska Native women are 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted than women in the U.S. in general
In 2010 alone, an estimated 15,000 women were raped in eastern Congo.

The letter went on to describe the circumstances of individual women, one in the Democratic Republic of Congo who spoke out about being raped by a soldier and was raped again and bayonetted in the stomach. There are numerous other bone-chilling instances of women being burned because their dowries were too small, stoned to death because they “dishonored” their families, etc. Reference is made to the many women who, unable to support themselves, endure years of domestic abuse.

It is hard to believe that in our so-called enlightened world with all its technological advances that we remain so utterly barbaric towards one half of the human race … women. Madeleine K. Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.”

I feel compelled to help, but how? Do I give financially? Should I give to this organization, (Amnesty International), or to local organizations? Or should I help organizations that fight mammoth industrial giants who will knowingly destroy entire geographical areas and cause widespread species extinction? Or help American Indian elders without food and heat? Or organizations that fight the worst of animal cruelty? Or … or … or?

Is there not a special place in hell for those of us who are aware of such need and do nothing? I was profoundly struck by these egregious offenses against women, yet I am aware of the need in every corner of the planet, and I, as can we all, can always do something. Whatever it is.

Oddly enough, after reading all these appeals, I remembered why I wanted to write children’s books … I want to open children’s eyes, to show them the love and beauty in the world, but also to show them that they have the power to change what’s wrong. They needn’t know at 5 years old that women are being sexually assaulted throughout the world, but they can know that helping and caring about others, be it humans, animals or our planet, makes a difference. And a well-crafted children’s book can show that in the most un-obvious of ways. So while I’ve yet to figure out where to send my next donation, perhaps writing from my heart is my unique gift to a troubled world, the gift I can always give.

My guess is that you, no matter how much money you do or don’t have, have plenty to give, too.

While You Were Dying

February 5, 2012February 5, 2012 / still a dreamer / 4 Comments

In Memory of Kathy – 1/31/1942 – 2/2/2012

While you were dying,
my wings were open.
the empty breeze whistled through,
an exhalation of sorrow,
and I, half frozen,
watched the clouds, the rain, the moon
go by for days.
They took no notice of me
hovering in place.

I fed the cats and swept the stairs
Got the mail, ran laundry through
Got dishes washed, paid the bills
Answered e-mails, watched TV,
All while you were dying.

Though miles away
I held you close and we
laughed at life
in all its beauty and contrariness.
Why should now be different?
I watched your angels
light the way,
knowing
their wings would soon enfold you.
I held my breath
while you were gently dying.

And then …

A light within the light.
Unanticipated joy.
You, luminous.
And me,
Wings beating,
Soaring
in love,
remembering,
and remembering,
dear friend,
that you
were never dying.

Jeanne Balsam
February 3, 2012

Sad Places

January 20, 2012 / still a dreamer

OK, I give. I find in checking the stats on my blog that someone or multiple “someones” are regularly using the search term sad place, sometimes sad places. Each time I see it, I wonder if they have come specifically to my site searching for it, or if something in my site is drawing them to me. Either way, I would love that person or persons to let me know what they are looking for.

I believe a sad place can be as much a state of mind as a physical location. I started searching for photos that said sad place to me. I realized that even that could change on any given day in any given hour, plus I suspect that the response to that phrase would vary enormously from person to person. But I selected this photo of the Eastern State Penitentiary in center city Philadelphia by Mike Munchel. The prison was built in 1920 and housed prisoners until 1970. Regardless of whether or how people should be punished or not – that’s not the issue – I found this building, this facility, an extremely sad place. That any human being was kept in such utterly primitive circumstances is indeed sad in my book. I also find that many derelict buildings, once beautiful and filled with life, are often sad places for me.

I found a few other places that I – at this exact moment in time – feel were described by that phrase, but I wonder what you have in mind … what are you looking for when you search for sad place?

Accepting Now

January 15, 2012 / still a dreamer

I’m always a big fan of good quotes, and this one came up on my metaphysical flip calendar on Friday.

“You cannot live on earth and avoid lessons; but you can learn them easily and with joy rather than struggle.” – Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer.

I’m thinking that learning them easily and with joy IS a big lesson no? I’ve been observing and talking to others and thinking about my own experiences, and realizing how much of our stress and anxiety is attached to outcomes, i.e. our having a lot invested in our own expectations coming to pass. Sometimes our expectations are based on “reality” and are reasonable. But sometimes they’re really what we want to happen. Or not to happen. In the latter two cases, the result is the same; we are not living in the present world of possibilities or accepting what is and we become messy balls of anxiety.

So in accepting the not-knowing, it might seem like we’re spending our lives walking on a tightrope of uncertainty, and in a way, I suppose we are. But if we believe that there is a reason why things happen, whether we can see it or not, that there may be a bigger picture that we don’t know about, or a lesson we have yet to discern, then the tightrope has an infinite safety net. We’re really always OK. It’s our own attachment to outcomes that prevents us from walking that sparkling tightrope called life with confidence and perfect balance. And leaping with joy. Yes!

Accepting Now and being grateful for all we have in this moment, can bring us joy and help us learn our lessons without struggle. It can be a challenge. I’m right on the journey’s path with the rest of you, trying to grasp the lesson a little better, on a deeper level each time, and coming back to joy. Happy travels.

As 2011 Slips Quietly Away …

December 31, 2011December 31, 2011 / still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Some people are undoubtedly getting ready for a night out this evening; others are spending it quietly at home. For some the year goes out with much ado, for others a New Year softly beckons. As I sit and listen to the album Kindred by Kevin Wood, one of my favorites, I find myself simply looking forward to a bit of reflection … how to move towards some of my goals in the coming year, difficult choices that may need to be made, things that have transpired over the last year, and others to which I look forward in the coming year. Nothing especially profound or any different from what you might be thinking.