Reflections

Re-Finding Ourselves

/ still a dreamer

I woke up this morning not feeling fully awake – I remember waking at 12:40, then 1 something, then 5:40 with a jolt – a disturbing noise that may have only been in my dream. When I finally got up at 6:30, I hardly felt rested.

In the kitchen, I found that one of my cats, who has recently returned to dragging food out of the bowl with his paw, had dragged the entire bowl to the center of the kitchen floor which was now littered with many small pieces of half-eaten food. Are they trying to attract mice?

With coffee in me, I was thinking of work, how much I had to do right now, and how much time I was spending in my office. The open doors and windows brought in a breeze and drew me out to the porch, where I sat down and realized what an absolutely gorgeous morning it was.

I watched a little spider on one of the yews valiantly mending her web as fast as the breeze would blow a bit of it away. Sunlight glistened on web strands of larger spiders, and as the breeze would move them, it seemed as a scintilla of light traveled a diagonal from the porch rail to the roof.

I heard birds I didn’t recognize – I heard what sounded like the high pitch of a seagull, but I’ve never once seen a seagull in this area. Perhaps it was a late-summer baby clamoring for food, or maybe one of the numerous catbirds had mastered a new voice.

Sitting there, peaceful at last, I wanted to stay … to delay the inevitable, and just enjoy a cool summer morning and do nothing. I am always amazed at the healing power of even a few moments spent appreciating nature, if only from my porch. We can usually re-find ourselves by taking a little time away from our many demands and just being with the simple wonders of the natural world.

And then I saw him. It was a seagull, indeed, circling in the sky. I wondered if he had lost his flock and was calling out to be found. His cry had such a desperate air to it, and he flew in wider and wider circles, but still in view. I hoped someone would come looking for this seemingly lost soul. I returned inside, having found myself, and hoping that he, too, would soon find himself where he needed to be.

Enchanted

/ still a dreamer

Enchanted, entranced …. swept away … by such a lovely piece of music by Mike Rowland, who I am just now discovering. Entitled “Magic Moment,” the added visuals, (by truus 1949), are just that – simply magical, a reminder of such moments – so often in our lives and not noticed, or just a star’s breath ahead of us – and a reminder of how beautiful we actually are. Watch and summon your own true beauty. Feel the magic always in our lives if we just let ourselves be.

 

When the Title Doesn’t Fit the Story – Taming the Star Runner

/ still a dreamer

When I’m offered coffee, I don’t want tea. When I’m offered a ride, I don’t expect to walk. When I choose a book entitled Taming the Star Runner, with a number of horses on the cover, and a jacket liner which pumps up the story of a horse named Star Runner, I don’t expect a story about a teenage boy named Travis. But that’s what I got.

Taming the Star Runner  by S. E. Hinton is a coming-of-age story about a 15 year old named Travis, who, while he sees himself as very cool, is always on the edge of getting in more trouble than he can handle. After attempting to kill his abusive stepfather and doing some time, he is sent to live with his uncle on a ranch in Oklahoma. Here he meets, among others, a teen barely older than himself, Casey, rider and riding instructor, and then we finally meet who seemed to allegedly be a main character, her horse named Star Runner. Had I not been excited to read a story about this wild horse, who only first appears halfway through the book, I may have liked the story more. Or maybe not picked it up at all.

S.E. Hinton, deliberately using only her initials as an author, (lest it be realized she was a very young woman author), broke ground in the 60’s, writing about gangs. Her first published book was The Outsiders, written when she was 16. This story is similar in the sense that Travis is another angry, angst-filled teen, feeling unappreciated, isolated and ever on the edge of an emotional explosion. The story is fairly good, actually. Travis’ character is well-drawn, as are other characters, and the plot has some interesting twists and turns, even if, in my mind, they are not all tied up that well in the end. Still, this particular tale became more interesting for me when the powerful spirit of Star Runner was introduced and the girl who wanted to tame him.

Having read a number of Newbery-winning and other middle grade novels, and having learned what editors are looking for and what is being published nowadays, I can’t help but wonder if Hinton would have been published today. Or at least if she remained in her own writing style. Being mindful of what we are told at workshops, conferences, online, etc. I am sometimes amazed at how she worded things, switching tenses, using unmarked self-reflective dialogue in the same paragraph as lengthy descriptions, etc. It made me realize how much more refined the craft of writing – in this case, for teens – has become.

I don’t mean to sit and criticize S.E. Hinton for what she did – she brought a whole new way of life and type of character to light in her novels. They were groundbreaking, have become classics, and continue to resonate well with many readers today. I only wish the book had really been about what the title told me.

 

Balance

/ still a dreamer

It has been my thought for a while now to write about balance … it has been a constant source of reflection over the past weeks … months. So while I mused over my subject, I searched for an appropriate photo for this post.

Unfortunately, having the love affair I’ve had with photography most of my life, looking for a photo is something akin to the proverbial child in the candy shop. Or better yet, wandering in the woods. I easily get lost. I searched for a photo by my subject, but the word ‘balance’ didn’t yield what I wanted, so I tried see-saw. Nothing. I tried `edge’ and that brought up images I didn’t expect, (like knives), so I tried `ledge.’ Still nothing. Then I thought of one of the greatest ledges of them all …. the parapets of Notre Dame. And gargoyles. This now became free association at its best.

And so you see the photo I chose, above. This is probably one of the most famous gargoyles in the world; he may even have a name, but I don’t know it. As someone who has been enamored of gargoyles before they became faddish and fairly common garden statuary, I have a few of my own; in particular, I have one of the Notre Dame gargoyles in candlesticks.

I’m in love with this photo. The gargoyle is quietly looking over his beloved city, shrouded in mist … HIS Paris. I look with him. And I contemplate the wonder of it all … the beauty and richness of life and the sometimes pain;  the inescapability of responsibility and the luxury of letting it all go to become steeped in daydreams; being surely anchored in cement and that violent shrug in which we break free and fly.

So yes … balance.

Making Time for What We Love

/ still a dreamer

OK, I’m the first one who says we have to “make” time, not “find” time, but every now and then, something occurs which effectively pushes in my face just how much I’m trying to accomplish, and what happens? Instant overwhelm!

If you have a dream, and I’m sure you do, there really are just times when you wonder how you’ll ever get there. I was updating my web site, and looking at how many children’s books I have somewhere in the process of either writing, editing, storyboarding, dummying and/or illustrating, and how I really want to be working on each and every one. But then I … like you, I suspect … remember that I have to work and do all the multitudinous things that mean taking care of our lives.

It sure can be a dilemma, can’t it? And then we sit down to it, (or run across it, climb up it, build it … if that’s your dream), and we’re happy. I actually updated a few areas of my site, and added the following quote in my shop, where I always like some words of wisdom – “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker.  His words seem apt for where I am right now — standing on the edge of everything exciting, but still wondering how long I can fly up there, before I have to return to the reality of everyday life. Well, everyday life as I know it at this precise moment in time.

I plan on making the time to fly up there longer and longer. And to keep on learning how to kick that overwhelm to the curb. How’s your dream coming along?