self love

Reminded of Gratitude

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

It’s still early this morning, and I sit in my favorite journaling spot by the front windows as I always do.

I’m not feeling 100% – just one of those mornings one needs to take a little extra time to breathe, and let the day unfold gently.

The sun is rising slowly, brightly illuminating the left side of the porch posts outside; birds are singing their celebration of a new day, and I am listening to this music, so calming with the water running in the background –

Despite the fact that I am feeling pretty far from where I’d like to be at this precise moment, and am not even sure where exactly that is, I also realize that there are thousands, maybe millions, of people who would give anything to be sitting where I am right now …

… to be able to sit calmly and safely; and have the ability to push the day back just a bit before actually starting it; to sit with a cup of coffee and watch the sun slowly lighten the sky. We can forget how much better off we are in our own little lives than so many people in the world. Especially now.

I humbly and gratefully accept all the good I have right now, and trust that my life is unfolding exactly as it should be, no matter how that may feel at any given moment. Even a gentle morning is a gift, and a reminder of abundance. And so it is.

What Am I Learning Now?

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Always, I am learning. Sometimes without my consent. Or awareness.

Sometimes people push us. They are rude and childish and treat us unfairly. In some cases, what we’re learning, perhaps a lifelong lesson, is that their behavior has little or nothing to do with us. It feels personal, but in actuality, it very rarely is.

People are not all on the same level of emotional, mental, or spiritual maturity. They’ve never worked on themselves to grow emotionally. They act out of patterns that they were taught all their lives, and are still being taught.

We might even behave the same way at times. The difference is that some of us try really hard to bring our most emotionally mature self to the table, and the other, while nodding their head, doesn’t really understand what we’re talking about.

Others’ lack of emotional maturity doesn’t excuse rude and childish behavior towards us. It does, however, shed a light on how we need to deal with them, or if we even want to deal with them at all, given the choice.

Having a better idea of what it is that I’m learning, and where I’m going with it, is one of the reasons that I journal every day. Knowing what we know is a good thing.

Artist Date – Part 2

/ still a dreamer / 11 Comments

Admittedly, I had to go to this location for an appointment, but moseying around town and taking some pictures, which I love to do, was my Artist Date.

This is the very charming little hamlet of Frenchtown, the river town just south of the one I live in.

There are several such river towns dotting the Eastern side of the Delaware River – we are the two northernmost.

Frenchtown abounds with small, unique shops, and plenty of good places to eat, get coffee, ice cream, pastry, and much more.

I obsessed a little over these two dogs, and took quite a few photos of them. But, hey, it was my Artist Date, and my chance to do what I love.

Pushed by Change

/ still a dreamer / 10 Comments

We all come upon times in our lives when change becomes unavoidable.

Circumstances become such that we no longer have a choice – something has to give. The upside is that being pushed when we’re too tired to even run can sometimes yield the most unexpected and life-changing results.

In Anna Quindlen’s Still Life with Bread Crumbs, Rebecca Winter, a relatively famous NYC photographer, faces those circumstances. She suddenly finds herself with overwhelming financial responsibilities due to family obligations no one else can carry, and a diminishing income due to a narcissistic husband and abusive agent.

To save money and sort out her life, she rents a somewhat ramshackle cottage in upstate New York. There Rebecca finds the unexpected – a very different kind of life, the life she hadn’t known she needed and the life she was truly made for.  

What an excellent read! I have read both fiction and non-fiction by this Pulitzer Prize-winning author and journalist. She has never failed to capture my heart, imagination, or intellect, often all three. Highly recommended. 4 stars.

p.s. Inspired by this novel, I’ve decided to return to Quindlen’s Thinking Out Loud and finish reading!

It’s Just Change

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That makes change sound so simple, so casual, right? Yet just the word ‘change’ can have some of us already feeling anxious, because we so often associate change with something negative.

Photo: towfiqu-barbhuiya / unsplash

But what if we could look at change from a different angle, and consider that all change is ultimately good for us in some way. What if we could take that a step further, and consider that everything is always working out in our favor?

That’s a concept that I would have likely disagreed with a couple years ago. I’ve since changed my mind. However, it does take an intentional shift in perspective. Every experience we have contains within it the opportunity to grow, and to find/be something better.

We can sit and stew and whine and complain about something that’s happening or … we can step back and look at it, and say, `what’s here for me to learn? How can this change benefit me?’ You might be surprised at what you find.

Photo: Ellis Garvey / unsplash, Instagram @ellisgarvey

This doesn’t discount the fact that change is sometimes painful. There is no growth without discomfort or pain. But if we can make that shift in perspective, and be willing to look at the bigger picture?

We can grow and find more happiness, more contentment, in our lives. In whatever time it takes, in the end? It’s just change, and you and I are strong enough to handle it.