self love

That makes change sound so simple, so casual, right? Yet just the word ‘change’ can have some of us already feeling anxious, because we so often associate change with something negative.

Photo: towfiqu-barbhuiya / unsplash

But what if we could look at change from a different angle, and consider that all change is ultimately good for us in some way. What if we could take that a step further, and consider that everything is always working out in our favor?

That’s a concept that I would have likely disagreed with a couple years ago. I’ve since changed my mind. However, it does take an intentional shift in perspective. Every experience we have contains within it the opportunity to grow, and to find/be something better.

We can sit and stew and whine and complain about something that’s happening or … we can step back and look at it, and say, `what’s here for me to learn? How can this change benefit me?’ You might be surprised at what you find.

Photo: Ellis Garvey / unsplash, Instagram @ellisgarvey

This doesn’t discount the fact that change is sometimes painful. There is no growth without discomfort or pain. But if we can make that shift in perspective, and be willing to look at the bigger picture?

We can grow and find more happiness, more contentment, in our lives. In whatever time it takes, in the end? It’s just change, and you and I are strong enough to handle it.

I recently went to the MVC (Motor Vehicle Commission) to get my REAL ID, and was offered the opportunity to have a new license photo taken. Sure, it’s been a while.

There’s nothing like having your photo taken by some official agency to reveal how we’ve aged, how many more lines we’ve added since our last such photograph. In our mirrors at home, we watch a slow and gradual change, so we can almost delude ourselves into thinking we haven’t really aged. It’s a harmless enough delusion.

Once back home, I decided to take an account of my face in the mirror.

There are definitely some lines. Among them, are many, many laugh lines. I know because when I smile, I see which ones they are. I also have squinting lines on my forehead and between my eyebrows, because I have grey eyes, and lighter eyes are always much more sensitive to sun then darker ones.

Some of the lines are simply natural aging, years of skin no longer capable of being taut as it was when I was younger. Pretty routine. I notice there really aren’t frown lines, or a down turned mouth, nothing angry.

But I also know, hidden in those lines, there are times of pain, anxiety, the stress of overcoming things life brought my way, delicate channels for tears. These lines are, to use the words of a friend, my Badge of Courage.

In the end, whether in a harshly lit photo for a driver’s license, in the soft and generous photo taken by a friend, or a selfie, all these lines are no more, no less, than a life lived.