Society

Nineteen Minutes

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Nineteen minutes is how long it took for high school junior Peter Houghton to enter Sterling High and kill ten people and wound another nineteen. However, it took his whole life from when he was first bullied at five years old to that point, having endured years of emotional and physical abuse from his classmates, to now, when he’d finally had enough.

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult is a complex, challenging, and astonishing read which covers many issues beyond the central focus of the school shooting. Bullying is the thread weaving the entire story together. The novel focuses primarily on one character, Peter, who could never seem to fit in. His non-stop torment began his first day on the bus to kindergarten when bigger kids threw his cherished Superman lunchbox out the window. Peter was five, and had dreamed of his first day of school. Josie, like Peter, and a good friend when they were young, had also always felt out of place until high school, when she became the girlfriend of a popular boy. Being bullied and treated abusively by him was the price Josie paid for her popularity.

Nineteen Minutes is about the many ways a child can be failed, even if unintentionally, by family, friends, and school. It asks what it means to be different in today’s society, and who has the right to judge another. It talks about how easily entire lives can be destroyed; how the truth comes out in the end; and how justice may be served.

Nineteen Minutes is also about individuals and families who are truly doing the best they can in trying to understand the young people in their lives. Ultimately, the book is about love, friendship, judgment, pain, redemption, and death, played out in the lead-up and aftermath of just nineteen minutes of violence.

Ms. Picoult has scrupulously researched every detail and aspect of school shootings and the myriad fields related to them, including forensics, court proceedings, the psychology of school shooters, and more. Her novel is also a consistently banned book, but it might also be the book that teens, their parents, and teachers most need to read.

Nineteen Minutes, published in 2007, is totally relevant today. It is incredibly impressive throughout, and packs an unexpected double punch at the end. It has left me thinking for days, wondering how, as such a supposedly advanced society, we are not doing better. Highly recommended.

This was a long post. If you’re still here, thanks for reading through to the end.

p.s. Last night, I continued to edit this piece, planning to post it today. When I opened my online news this morning, I found that there had been a school shooting in Tumbler Ridge, B.C., Canada. Nine total were killed, including the shooter who took their own life, and twenty-seven wounded. That this was transpiring while I wrote about school shootings confirmed that I needed to post this.

Photo credits: Hallway by Yash Patel/Unsplash; Bullying from WeStockProductions/Shutterstock  

Recognition

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Recognition is important. We all need a pat on the back here and there, or just an acknowledgment of our efforts, if not a final accomplishment. It’s what fuels our moving forward, or simply trying again.

When we work so hard at something, it’s nice to have someone say so. In this case, I recently received the awards package from Northern Lights Book Awards for my picture book, Where Do Butterflies Go at Night? 2nd Edition. It includes these beautiful gold seals to affix to books, and a certificate. They made the recognition tangible.

This acknowledgment may not mean much to you unless you know me personally, and how long I’ve been involved in children’s books. Years. Decades. Intense periods and fallow periods. It takes a long time to see your work in print, whether traditionally published, as this book initially was, or self-published, and all the work I put into that.

What seems like a lifetime ago, in 2011, I received an award from the Dog Writers Association of America in the Painting/Art Category for this Frenchie drawing. It was submitted by someone I knew who hadn’t told me they’d done so. The announcement was a complete surprise. A very lovely one. I consider myself lucky to have received both these awards.

But the reality is that we don’t always get external acknowledgments like these, no matter how long or often we’ve been trying.

And the reality also is that you have actually accomplished a lot that’s worthy of recognition. It could be any number of things – pushing through disappointments of all kinds and coming out on the other side; surviving a break-up; losing a loved one; finishing a project; accomplishing a goal; keeping quiet when you really wanted to blow-up; accepting change.

It really can be anything. Sometimes just getting out of bed in the morning can be an accomplishment.

Take a moment and give yourself a pat on the back. Stand a little taller. In some way that I, and most people, can’t see and may never know, you have still done good. Congratulations. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.

Coping

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

In times of stress, it’s important to maintain our balance, and keep as much love flowing as possible. It’s not always easy, but here are a few things I do to stay steady. I’m sure they would help you, too.

Journaling …

I have been writing like a madwoman in the mornings. In part, to clear my head, but also to sort out dreams, and make plans about where I’m headed with important aspects of my life. If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it.

Taking pictures …

Photography lifts me up. I love taking pictures, and I know that expressing ourselves in whatever form of creativity we love is always a bonus. Think about making a little time for your own creative endeavors. It doesn’t need to have a purpose.

Baking/Cooking …

I don’t have a lot of time to bake (or sometimes, even cook), but whenever I do, it’s always so rewarding. Taking the time to nourish ourselves properly and well is important. Isn’t there something you want to make?

Creating for others …

I enjoy creating memes and sharing poetry and music on social media. It is always my hope that I can put a smile on someone’s face, or inspire them in some little way. I’m sure you have ways of doing the same. Do it!

Pulling back from the news …

I have found, for my well-being, I need to seriously cut back on how much news I’m exposed to. The sheer negativity of what is transpiring right now is soul-crushing. We can rarely change what’s going on, but we can change how we react.
We are entitled to some peace in our lives, and one way to find that is to limit fear, especially in overwhelming doses. Prioritize your peace.

And please keep waving.

Fearless

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Look at that little guy … a young praying mantis, sitting next to Pumpkin (R.I.P.), one of the most fearless animals I have ever known.

How is the mantis so brave? Is this innate to his species, or an individual who takes risks or is just naive and inexperienced?

Looking at ourselves, if we aren’t fearless like the mantis, how did we get this way? Perhaps the bigger question is can we become more brave?

I believe there are two core emotions – fear and love, the opposite of one another. To become fearless, or start heading in that direction, we need to love ourselves more, to tip the scales. We need to let go of things we were told that we were. These often had nothing to do with us, but more to do with the individuals that told us. Think about it.

Many of our behaviors that make us unhappy today were once developed as children because we needed them in order to cope or survive, whether to make others happy or comfortable or just to leave us alone. But we can look at ourselves now, at our fears, our outer coats of beliefs that no longer work in our lives, and release them.

It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Looking and seeing who we are underneath those once-needed layers, we can love and accept ourselves for what we find, forgive ourselves for behaving in ways we have not understood. And we can change. It takes time, and it’s not always easy, but we are capable of change.

We are always braver than we believe.

p.s. As for the yet-unnoticed, young praying mantis … I called Pumpkin over to my back door for a snack, and the little one, apparently having made his point (to me), quickly disappeared.