Catching the Light

/ still a dreamer

How often have you been in the presence of a small magical moment and wished you had your camera? It doesn’t have to be anything groundbreaking … sometimes just a brief few seconds in which the light was brilliant and soon would pass?

As I enjoyed the luxury of journaling this morning, the sun had risen and was angling its light on the small pool of light blue marbles in the plate on my coffee table. As Spring approaches, I put away fall and winter candles and decor, and had just recently encircled a vanilla pillar candle with a small pool of blue in which this little bluebird could wade. The sharp sunlight was just dancing off these simple blue gems, and both they and the textured glass plate beneath were sparkling.

There was only a small window of time to catch this light before the sun rose further. I couldn’t help but smile broadly at this scintillating vignette … photographing it was just a reminder of how happy we can be when we are truly in the moment. It still never fails to amaze me.

Check back soon and I’ll show you who I captured in this warm, morning light.

Well … hello! (My Wolf Spider Adventure)

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

That’s all I could think of to say. And with that, I closed the bathroom door as fast as I could.

Holy Moly! That was the biggest spider I have ever seen in any place I’ve lived! (though not the biggest one I’ve ever seen.)  Including his legs, which were kind of scrunched up, he took up a circular space about 2″ in diameter. What to do?

OK, the usual paper cup I put over other insects to take them outside might not even cover this guy, and I didn’t want to waste any time, because if he got into the bathroom, he could probably find his way out again. Think! Got it. I had a 1/2 pint deli container that would work. I opened the bathroom door and he hadn’t moved. I carefully placed the container over him, which scared him quite a bit, then very gently slid the piece of cardboard underneath. Now he was panicking trying to get out. Just hold on, I kept telling him, as I made my way out the side door.

While I might have released a smaller spider at the far end of the driveway, I really didn’t want to see this guy again anytime soon, so we walked down to the river. Over the tracks, there was a large pile of brush and broken branches of various sizes and plenty of leaf litter. Perfect. I put the container and cardboard down and tipped it so he could get out. He made a few false starts then out he went. Within seconds, he blended into his surroundings and couldn’t even be seen. Whew!

I had only seen a spider that big once before – in the library meeting room where my writers’ group met. (He got released, too.) My research when I got home had identified that one as a wolf spider, and I believe this one is, too. I searched on The Bug Guide, and found some photos with the unusual patterning that this spider had. (Thanks to Charley Eiseman for this photo which shows that patterning perfectly.)

So now the question … why did he appear to me? I am of the belief that when animals appear to us it may be of significance. The best resource I’ve found for understanding the meaning of a particular animal who may be a totem is Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak. He tells us this about spiders appearing in our lives: the spider is associated in mythology and by mystics with 3 primary expressions  – the magic and energy of creation, the assertiveness of that creative force, (particularly keeping the feminine energies of creativity alive), and an association with spiral energy, i.e., the links with the past and future. According to Ted Andrews, some of the questions one might ask when Spider comes into our lives are … Are you moving toward a specific goal or becoming scattered? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments rather than your own? Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you feeling closed in or stuck? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through?

This is just a tiny sampling of the wisdom that surrounds the lore and potential magic/inspiration with Spider as a totem. Andrews writes 4 lengthy pages on the spider alone. Having re-read about Spider appearing in my life, as I did when he appeared to my writing group, I am led to believe that it is now time for me to return to my most creative self. And if the size of that spider is any indication … I’d say in a BIG way.

Beaded Beauty

/ still a dreamer

Not too long ago, quite by chance, I came across something that I had completely forgotten I had … a beautiful carved and earthy-looking scarab. I can no longer remember where I got the scarab, but looking at the holes drilled in either end, I thought now would be the perfect time to make it into a striking and inexpensive necklace.

I bought some simple black silk-type cord, but then my imagination kicked in and I started thinking of how nicely a few beads would offset the scarab. So my friend and I coordinated our breakfast with a visit to the fabulous bead store in Clinton (NJ), Beads Extraordinaire. And then came the fun … I needed beads with a large hole to accommodate the diameter of the cord I’d brought, and soon found gorgeous copper beads and some shimmery ones in the palest aqua.

Before you knew it, my friend and one of the store personnel, Angela, had additional suggestions, and soon, my scarab and the beads were carefully arranged on a copper silk cord, and skillfully knotted by Angela so I could adjust the length of the necklace. You can see the results here. In addition, She knotted a black leather cord for another piece I had brought along. And the cost? Beyond reasonable.

If in the neighborhood, stop into Beads Extraordinaire, or check out their web site. Linda, the owner, has an unbelievable selection of exquisite beads of every kind, which truly are an artist’s palette of their own. She also has regular trunk sales of art beads from artisans around the country. Suddenly I wanted to bead!  Well, that’s not likely in my life, but I am thinking of something else I’d like to do ….

Remember to Bring the Camera

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Yesterday was my day to go to my accountant. It’s about a 45 minute drive, and as any 45 minute drive in this part of the state will assure you, there were many beautiful vistas of farmland, woods, ponds, small towns, etc. I hadn’t expected the lovely fog I encountered, the mist lying low on acres of land threaded with rows of trees. I really need to remember to bring my camera.

The land is just so beautiful in all seasons, and although I may have been late by a moment or two, I would have loved to capture some of yesterday morning’s soft edges. Years ago, when I was in art school we had an ongoing assignment – always have your sketchbook with you. When that morphed into my majoring in photography, the assignment was to always have your camera with you. It was meant to keep our artistic tools as integral parts of our lives, and is something that fell by the wayside. It would be a good habit to revive. Both, actually … my sketchbook and my camera.

So having failed to capture any of the lovely scenery I passed yesterday, and unable to photograph the goodies I picked up from the Italian bakery in my accountant’s town, (because I ate them), I have included a photo I took of the Delaware in the fall, taken from the almost-PA side of the bridge.

Tomorrow they’re predicting rain, but I’ll be in a quaint town, and who knows where a photo may be waiting.

Loving Is Easy, Loving Is Hard

/ still a dreamer / 6 Comments

Falling in love is always the easy part. Then it gets complicated. Why? Because “the other” has their own ways, their own ideas, their own habits, their own fears.

It doesn’t matter if “the other” is human or animal; no matter how hard we try, we cannot help but bring our own hopes, expectations, ideas, habits and fears to the table. Case in point – an animal one – elsewhere on this blog, I have mentioned that I feed a small feral cat with tuxedo markings whom I’ve named Little Fee. He’s been coming around since he was 9 months old or so, and that was the summer of 2009. He comes like clockwork for breakfast and dinner, and snacks in between from the bowl on my back porch when not chased away by one of the cats next door.

If not waiting for me on the back porch, he comes to his name when called. Yet he is extremely fearful and will not be touched or approached. He has never been missing for more than 2 days, and that was only after severe snowstorms. But now he is missing 2-1/2 days. What has happened to him?

The scenarios for a feral cat are … 1) Hit by a car  2) attacked by another animal  3) injured and laying low somewhere while healing  4) accidentally trapped in a shed, garage, etc.  5) poisoned  6) trapped by a human and removed with any number of intentions – to be neutered and returned, taken to the local shelter and/or to be killed. None but one of them are good. And there is nothing I can really do about any of them.

One of the things about loving another – be it human or animal – is that it is always fraught with risk.  Perhaps the greatest risk is giving up control, for it is the one thing we cannot have when another being is involved, or at least not without potential harm to ourselves or them. And one of the things about loving and caring for a feral cat, I see, is that I have no control at all.

And still we, in all our yearning humanity, risk loving again and again, knowing that we cannot control much … only our own thoughts, really. We can offer the best of ourselves to another being, offer our love, and then it’s out of our hands.

As for me, I keep intermittent vigil at my back door … watching and hoping … hoping my voice, my love, can bring this small being back and help heal him, if needed; hoping he’s not gone forever.

UPDATE, MARCH 1 –

The Fee has returned! In one of my porch checks late last night there he was, looking none the worse for wear, a bit hungry, and happy to be fed. Breathing easier at last.