The Woman and the Dog

It was in the late 80’s on the Lower East Side that I saw her, a woman sharing her quilt with a beautiful Harlequin Great Dane on a street corner at Cooper Square .

I just had to go and say hello to the dog, as we animal lovers are often wont to do. When I came closer, I saw that the woman was very clean, but shabbily dressed, perhaps wearing the only clothes she owned. The dog’s coat was so bright, you needed sunglasses. I could see she was homeless, and her dog was undoubtedly her life.

“May I pet your dog?” I asked. The sun rose in her face and shone with joy.

“Please, sit down,” she offered.

I sat on the quilt, and proceeded to pet and get all mushy with the affectionate Dane. I asked about him, and she was absolutely elated to be able to talk about her magnificent companion. Soon, I was telling her about my Chloe at home, a pit bull terrier who had come to the shelter at 6 months old with a broken leg. We chatted and laughed about our dogs, animals, and life in general as any two new acquaintances would do.

At some point, I had to get going, and we said our goodbyes, still smiling and glowing. I stopped at a small market to get a sandwich and coffee, and decided to get the same for her plus a bag of dog food for the Dane. But when I returned to the corner, she was gone, perhaps shooed away by the police, or maybe that was the amount of interaction she could tolerate; one couldn’t know.

I hoped this beautiful homeless soul would find some peace, comfort, and safety with her dog. I have never forgotten them. A recent event brought them to mind again.

On a particular TV channel (whose “news” I will never watch, and which is heavily constructed of lies), two hosts were talking about the “homeless problem”. One said that if the homeless weren’t willing to accept the resources the city offered, they should be locked up. The other replied, ““Or involuntary lethal injection, or something. Just kill ’em.” Yes, you read that correctly, as unbelievable as it may seem. You can find that clip here.

How has this situation come so far? While homelessness cuts across race, gender, and nationality, essentially, these are people suffering severe economic hardship. They may be our veterans, having seen combat in wars overseas; they come home with PTSD, are unable to manage life, and find no one to help them.

They are former patients of mental institutions, released when it was decided to shut down the hospitals, giving people already unable to cope with life the responsibility of getting somewhere on their own to pick up their meds. But more often than not, they are people who lost their jobs, their home, their car … everything … and had nowhere to turn. They are our neighbors. And there but for some saving grace, they are you. They are me.

Why we have homelessness is not due to a lack of money; it’s due to a lack of love.

The responsibility sits on the shoulders of your average citizen all the way up to elected leaders who have zero concern for humanity and are comfortable fostering hate. Or they simply don’t see the homeless as human beings. Or a priority.

But we – you and I – can still make a difference by continuing to be kind and caring, and believing that this multiplies exponentially, even if slower than we’d like. Peace always begins with us.

Please keep shining.

The Advantage of An Older Sibling

There are often advantages for a younger sibling having an older (in this case) brother or sister. The one I’m writing about has had an unintentional and lifelong impact.

We grew up in a family of readers. It made perfect sense that we would be read to as children. Where the older-brother-advantage came in was when my Mom would read to him, I was also on her lap. I was likely only about 1 year old then, but I looked on, taking in every word on the pages.

As we grew, I continued to soak up the words and stories meant for an older child. I was three years old when he was seven, the reading level of the New York Times. The amazing and unintentional result? My Mom realized that, at the age of 5, I could read a newspaper! She was very quick to point out that it wasn’t with full comprehension, lest I get a “big head” about it, but the truth is, without my older brother, that never would have happened.

My point here? Never underestimate the ability of a child to learn at an early age. If you have kids or grandkids, keep the youngest one(s) close by while you read to their older siblings because they, like me, will soak it in and get a head start on both reading and learning.

Let’s always read to the little ones at bedtime. It’s worth making the time, even for one story. It undoubtedly helped that my brother and I were both read to each night before we drifted off to dreamland.

It also helped that our family were readers. Our parents and grandparents were always reading novels and/or newspapers. They were my role models. Do we really want our kids having the idea that the only way to read is on a phone?

Having a membership to the local library is invaluable. Bring the littles along whenever possible. Let them experience the magic of so many books at an early age, to feel the joy of `what do I want to read now?’

As I move along in life, I become increasingly aware of what our future needs. One of those things is adults who can think and reason, learn and have compassion, all of which are inspired by an early love of reading.

p.s. Did you know that reading picture books to children is proven to develop compassion? Read more here.

Making It Worth It

I feel like I’m pretty safe in saying that anyone reading this post is at a point in life that if it’s worth doing at all, we want to make it worth it.

Please use your imagination and forgive the “sketch-like” appearance of the above image I created. I had a great school visit last week, and in all the excitement with the kids, we forgot to take any photos.

A school visit will always include a reading of one’s book, Q and A at the end, and some information for the children related to the book. In my case, I have discussed identifying butterflies, facts about them, plus information on the importance of pollinators, to which butterflies belong.

But it all wasn’t exciting ME. What would make ME excited about doing this book visit with “Butterflies”? What did I need to share that would have more value?

What could the story and the butterflies themselves teach? Now I had it!

Three takeaways: Use your imagination, based on our discussing Stella’s amazing interpretation of a butterfly’s appearance; always be kind to animals, based on advising kids never to touch a butterfly’s wings, lest it lose scales and be unable to fly; and embrace change, because life is full of changes, and we can be like the butterfly fighting its way out of the chrysalis, saying, “I can do this”, and “this change will make me stronger.”

Above are the 8.5″ x 11″ placards I made. The takeaways had the attention of these 6-8 year olds. And me.

Life isn’t getting any longer here. I feel a greater need to make whatever I do matter. Especially now. More than ever, we need our compassion and humanity not only intact, but strengthened. I hope I did that for a couple of those kids.

Away …

Searching through photos for one thing inevitably surprises us with something else. Especially when you have the amount of photos that I do.

This is a photo I took when visiting my cousin in Portugal when I was 23 years old. He and his family lived here, in a small fishing village, Vila Nova de Cerveira, at the mouth of the Minho River, just minutes from Spain. It was an indescribable experience, and looking back now, even more so, especially as the area has evolved so since.

Truly, it was a village. There was a tinker (today’s handyman/carpenter), a small bakery/grocery store, a church, a police station, and a few other shops. There was also a castle, and a variety of homes. The streets were cobblestone, and it seemed that everyone knew everyone. Many people grew or raised their own food.

In the morning, we heard the clanging of the bell at the long driveway gate. A neighbor had brought a clean bucket of milk, fresh from her cow. Wherever my cousin and I walked, there were young children skipping after us, fascinated by the visitor with her light-colored eyes.

Coming across this photo brought back so many memories, which could probably fill a short memoir of its own. My cousin, his wife, children, and dogs were my warm and wonderful hosts. With all I experienced in that too-short week, I existed in a slice of time never to be known again.

I also remember the train ride home, first to Porto, then a switch to a second train to Lisbon. In my compartment were five Portuguese men and women, none of whom spoke English. During the 5-hour ride, they brought out their lunch, and so generously offered everything to me – bread, cheese, some kind of meat, wine. With hand signs and broken language, we talked and laughed all the way to Lisbon.

I remember wondering even then if Americans would be so utterly kind to strangers who spoke no English in a traveling compartment. The importance of that entire experience has deepened ever since. Would we all be as kind and generous as they? Can we still share? Can we still love?

National Poetry Month – April 4th

April is National Poetry Month. They Want Us to Be Afraid is one of many beautiful – the word here is so inadequate – poems by Kamand Kojouri. This poem was written in May 2017, just 8 years ago.

THEY WANT US TO BE AFRAID

They want us to be afraid.
They want us to be afraid of leaving our homes,
to barricade our doors and hide our children.
They aim to make us fear life!

They want us to hate.
They want us to hate the other,
to practice aggression and promote oppression.
They aim to divide us all!

They want us to be inhuman.
They want us to throw out our kindness,
to conceal our love and bury our hope.
They aim to take our light!

They think their brick walls
will separate us.
They think their damned bombs
will defeat us.

They are so ignorant they don’t understand
that my soul and your soul are old friends.
They are so ignorant they don’t understand
that when they cut you, I bleed.

They are so ignorant they don’t understand
that we will never be afraid,
we will never hate,
and we will never be silent.
For life is only ours!

~ Kamand Kojouri