fiction

The Symbol of the Butterfly

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What is the meaning of a butterfly? Often, the butterfly symbolizes change, due to its dramatic transformation from a caterpillar to a magnificent winged creature. In Japanese, Burmese, and many other cultures the butterfly is seen as a symbol for the soul.

Was symbolism intended when I wrote my picture book, Where Do Butterflies Go at Night?

If you had asked me when I first wrote it in 2009, I would have said `no’, but I now question if I didn’t have more in mind than even I knew. I submitted “Butterflies” to agents and traditional publishers for many years. Although I often got positive feedback, it was ultimate;y rejected because it was in rhyme, and rhyme is hard to sell.

A small, independent publisher saw the beauty in my story of the magical imaginings of a child who wondered where the butterflies went at night. It was published with the lovely art of Stella Maris Mongodi, who brought the sweet simplicity of the cabbage white butterfly to life in a whole new and charming way.

When the original publisher closed its doors, I self-published this, my debut picture book, now identifying it as “2nd Edition.” In 2025, it won a first place award in the poetry category from a prestigious reviewer of children’s books. And in my most recent picture book school presentation, I decided to do something a little differently.

In emphasizing the concept of change from caterpillar to butterfly, I talked with 1st and 2nd graders about the importance of embracing change; being brave in the face of change; and understanding that all change is ultimately working in our favor. One might think little ones wouldn’t get that, but they did. Sometimes wiser than we adults, they did.

And so, the butterfly has become a symbol of transformation for me, as well. I’ve gone through many changes with these butterflies and their story. They continue to light my path, and I am still unfolding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where Do Butterflies Go at Night, 2nd Edition is available on Amazon and in also my Etsy shop, if you would like your copy signed.

Photo credits:
BW butterfly: pexels/6th Era Photography; @stories_by_sixthera
Blue butterfly: pexels/aarngiri; @aarn_giri
Cabbage white butterfly: pexels/mali maeder
Butterfly illustration: Stella Maris Mongodi

Nineteen Minutes

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Nineteen minutes is how long it took for high school junior Peter Houghton to enter Sterling High and kill ten people and wound another nineteen. However, it took his whole life from when he was first bullied at five years old to that point, having endured years of emotional and physical abuse from his classmates, to now, when he’d finally had enough.

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult is a complex, challenging, and astonishing read which covers many issues beyond the central focus of the school shooting. Bullying is the thread weaving the entire story together. The novel focuses primarily on one character, Peter, who could never seem to fit in. His non-stop torment began his first day on the bus to kindergarten when bigger kids threw his cherished Superman lunchbox out the window. Peter was five, and had dreamed of his first day of school. Josie, like Peter, and a good friend when they were young, had also always felt out of place until high school, when she became the girlfriend of a popular boy. Being bullied and treated abusively by him was the price Josie paid for her popularity.

Nineteen Minutes is about the many ways a child can be failed, even if unintentionally, by family, friends, and school. It asks what it means to be different in today’s society, and who has the right to judge another. It talks about how easily entire lives can be destroyed; how the truth comes out in the end; and how justice may be served.

Nineteen Minutes is also about individuals and families who are truly doing the best they can in trying to understand the young people in their lives. Ultimately, the book is about love, friendship, judgment, pain, redemption, and death, played out in the lead-up and aftermath of just nineteen minutes of violence.

Ms. Picoult has scrupulously researched every detail and aspect of school shootings and the myriad fields related to them, including forensics, court proceedings, the psychology of school shooters, and more. Her novel is also a consistently banned book, but it might also be the book that teens, their parents, and teachers most need to read.

Nineteen Minutes, published in 2007, is totally relevant today. It is incredibly impressive throughout, and packs an unexpected double punch at the end. It has left me thinking for days, wondering how, as such a supposedly advanced society, we are not doing better. Highly recommended.

This was a long post. If you’re still here, thanks for reading through to the end.

p.s. Last night, I continued to edit this piece, planning to post it today. When I opened my online news this morning, I found that there had been a school shooting in Tumbler Ridge, B.C., Canada. Nine total were killed, including the shooter who took their own life, and twenty-seven wounded. That this was transpiring while I wrote about school shootings confirmed that I needed to post this.

Photo credits: Hallway by Yash Patel/Unsplash; Bullying from WeStockProductions/Shutterstock  

Recognition

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Recognition is important. We all need a pat on the back here and there, or just an acknowledgment of our efforts, if not a final accomplishment. It’s what fuels our moving forward, or simply trying again.

When we work so hard at something, it’s nice to have someone say so. In this case, I recently received the awards package from Northern Lights Book Awards for my picture book, Where Do Butterflies Go at Night? 2nd Edition. It includes these beautiful gold seals to affix to books, and a certificate. They made the recognition tangible.

This acknowledgment may not mean much to you unless you know me personally, and how long I’ve been involved in children’s books. Years. Decades. Intense periods and fallow periods. It takes a long time to see your work in print, whether traditionally published, as this book initially was, or self-published, and all the work I put into that.

What seems like a lifetime ago, in 2011, I received an award from the Dog Writers Association of America in the Painting/Art Category for this Frenchie drawing. It was submitted by someone I knew who hadn’t told me they’d done so. The announcement was a complete surprise. A very lovely one. I consider myself lucky to have received both these awards.

But the reality is that we don’t always get external acknowledgments like these, no matter how long or often we’ve been trying.

And the reality also is that you have actually accomplished a lot that’s worthy of recognition. It could be any number of things – pushing through disappointments of all kinds and coming out on the other side; surviving a break-up; losing a loved one; finishing a project; accomplishing a goal; keeping quiet when you really wanted to blow-up; accepting change.

It really can be anything. Sometimes just getting out of bed in the morning can be an accomplishment.

Take a moment and give yourself a pat on the back. Stand a little taller. In some way that I, and most people, can’t see and may never know, you have still done good. Congratulations. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.

Stories Change Us

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And stories make us grow. They add colors and textures and emotions and new perceptions to our personal library called `self’. Stories add depth and dimension to our being, and give us perspectives on things that we may never have considered, whether fiction or non-fiction.

That is, of course, if we choose good books.

Up until a couple days ago, I had several spots around the house with books that I had picked up here and there, books I’ve been waiting to read. Now they’re all in one place. And as I am just finishing the fabulous book I’ve been reading, I also find myself wondering … who do I want to meet next? Where do I want to go? What time period feels inviting right now? What do I want to know?

And which book, which story, will take me there? Is it here on my shelves, or will I take a trip to the library? Reading is just such an incredible gift.

Restless, But Reading

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Do I write this post with a tad of guilt? I do. I feel like I have neglected my wonderful blog and disappointed … who? I notice that many of my contemporaries in blog posting have not been writing either. Hmmmmm …. (* Please see P.S. below.)

An effect of the pandemic? Are we all on to different things? Just not writing?

In the kitchen, keeping Jazzy company while she ate her lunch, I realized how restless I am. I want to do everything, but yet I really want to curl up with a good book and do nothing (but read). Life had been so crazy busy for so long, and then I left my very-often-intense work in the humane field. It was exactly what needed to be done, and along with some of that work was the pandemic. Working from home, staying at home for my safety, getting all too used to being home. Not liking it. It’s very comfortable and I live in a beautiful part of the state, but needing more. Restless.

Now that I can actually think, what do I want to be when I grow up? (You may have read about my ponderings on this subject in previous posts.)

Working on that, but meanwhile … I am always reading and always listening to music. Two constants. So while I work on the direction of my life, here are my 2023 reads so far, and all recommended unless otherwise noted. Not in order of being read.

The London Seance Society – Sarah Penner (currently reading)
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society – Mary Ann Shaffer – Excellent!
The Lost Apothecary – Sarah Penner
The Lost City of the Monkey God – Preston Douglas – didn’t finish, non-fiction, but not my type.
Little Fires Everywhere – Celeste Ng – Excellent!
The Book of Longings – Sue Monk Kidd
Now You See Her – Linda Howard
Night Music – JoJo Moyes
Secluded Cabin, Sleeps Six – Lisa Unger

Perhaps you will find something of interest. Perhaps you will share something of interest, as I know any followers of mine are also readers. Whatever you may be doing, I hope you are happy in your days. I am always hoping you are as content as possible in our so-often-challenging world, and finding the small and simple joys that are right there in front of us, waiting to be noticed. Till next time …

* p.s. In reading a comment on this post, and following up, I see that I have not been getting any notices of posts from my blogging buddies. Went into my settings and see something different than I remember. I hope this solves the problem, and my apologies to my friends who may have thought I was not reading and responding. That explains what I wrote above!