giving

If there is one thing that is always true it is that everything always changes. I have had holidays so filled with the presence of people, dogs (when I did rescue), and other animals, that I barely had a minute to myself. And then I’ve had quieter ones, which is where I am now.

In the New Year, I will be losing a decent chunk of my second floor, as it is going to be annexed to the adjoining house next door. I can’t say I’m happy about losing this space, but there have been some unexpected upsides. One is that I am being forced to purge and clear out a good amount of belongings and furniture.

Ultimately, that means clearing out items from every area of the house, including the basement, as I sort what I want and don’t want and find new places for the “good stuff” to go. Several large Christmas boxes have been in the basement, never opened since I moved here – no time, no full-size tree. I’ve had/have furniture that I have no deep attachment to anymore. So why do I have it? I’m used to it being there.

Drawers/closets need to be gone through and sorted to make room for what I’m keeping. But here’s the other upside. I was alerted to a small, hyper-local organization called Buy Nothing that serves only my town and the town adjacent. It is a Facebook site purely for gifting things we don’t want or need that others might use or appreciate. In addition to #gift, you can also #ask if there’s something you are looking for.

Here’s how that’s working. The ornaments were requested by a desperate family who were unable to find what had happened to their own ornaments. When they picked up the box, they left a jar of homemade candied jalapenos in its place. The sheet music was requested by a mom who, along with her husband and son, plays piano and is eager to try some of the classics. The organizer (never used) was requested by several women to help them get 2024 together. And so on.

But what’s particularly lovely is how eager our local residents are to help one another. The beautiful gnome bread above was baked just to give away to someone who would like it. Another baker had sourdough starter to offer, and was rewarded by a photo of the recipient’s first sourdough loaf ever.

This makes a quiet Christmas such a different experience. I will miss the space, but am happy to not have so many things that I no longer need or care about. I sometimes feel a little lonely this year, but I know that I am surrounded by many more caring people than I ever suspected. I believe this is the spirit of love and giving at its best.

Happy Christmas, Hanukah, or whatever holiday you celebrate. May the spirit of love and giving be yours.

If you give to any charities, you are aware that most charities sell their mailing lists to other charities. So where you may be a regular supporter of a few, you receive scores of other appeals requesting your donations to support their mission.

I understand this. What I find particularly difficult is that because I truly believe in the charities I donate to, those organizations with similar missions often resonate deeply with me as well. How do we decide to whom we give when the funds available to give are limited? I already have a stack I’d like to give to and more requests continue to pour in. In the last couple weeks, I must have received at least 20 appeals, some from those I already give to, and many other charities with worthy missions that want me to come on board with them.

The piece in all of these that really caught my eye told me that:

One in three women worldwide are beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime
Up to 70% of women worldwide encounter violence.
As many as 6 out of 10 migrant women from Central America are raped on their journey to the United States
Native American and Alaska Native women are 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted than women in the U.S. in general
In 2010 alone, an estimated 15,000 women were raped in eastern Congo.

The letter went on to describe the circumstances of individual women, one in the Democratic Republic of Congo who spoke out about being raped by a soldier and was raped again and bayonetted in the stomach. There are numerous other bone-chilling instances of women being burned because their dowries were too small, stoned to death because they “dishonored” their families, etc. Reference is made to the many women who, unable to support themselves, endure years of domestic abuse.

It is hard to believe that in our so-called enlightened world with all its technological advances that we remain so utterly barbaric towards one half of the human race … women. Madeleine K. Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.”

I feel compelled to help, but how? Do I give financially? Should I give to this organization, (Amnesty International), or to local organizations? Or should I help organizations that fight mammoth industrial giants who will knowingly destroy entire geographical areas and cause widespread species extinction? Or help American Indian elders without food and heat? Or organizations that fight the worst of animal cruelty? Or … or … or?

Is there not a special place in hell for those of us who are aware of such need and do nothing? I was profoundly struck by these egregious offenses against women, yet I am aware of the need in every corner of the planet, and I, as can we all, can always do something. Whatever it is.

Oddly enough, after reading all these appeals, I remembered why I wanted to write children’s books … I want to open children’s eyes, to show them the love and beauty in the world, but also to show them that they have the power to change what’s wrong. They needn’t know at 5 years old that women are being sexually assaulted throughout the world, but they can know that helping and caring about others, be it humans, animals or our planet, makes a difference. And a well-crafted children’s book can show that in the most un-obvious of ways. So while I’ve yet to figure out where to send my next donation, perhaps writing from my heart is my unique gift to a troubled world, the gift I can always give.

My guess is that you, no matter how much money you do or don’t have, have plenty to give, too.