happiness

I came across this wonderful quote today and it just stopped me in my tracks. Huh, I thought, isn’t that the truth?

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

And that set me pondering .. exactly what is it that makes me happy? When I stopped to think about it, there were so many things … and then I realized that what really makes me happy can sometimes change from minute to minute. This moment it can be a fall-scented candle, the next, the smile of someone I care about, noticing how surprisingly graceful is the flight of a Chinese mantis, the color of the coffee in my cup, the well-crafted labyrinthine twists and turns in the book I”m reading, the small feline squeaking at me for food, etc. Think about it … that’s where the happiness is – in our attitude towards everything in our lives. That’s not to say we should be Pollyanas. But how we look at what is in our lives can make the biggest difference in how happy we are. Mind you, I am not saying that I have mastered the zen art of peace and happiness every moment of the day, but I am getting better and better in knowing how to find it and embrace it, as can you.

I decided to do an online search for a photo of happiness for this post. As you can imagine, that brought up a real cross-section of images. Some of marriage, some of children and others of people leaping for joy, animals, music, beautiful nature scenes, etc. because happiness is often very subjective. Of all the photos I looked at, what made ME feel happiness at that exact moment was the photograph above of this child playing in the rain, such joy in his face.

In a little while, it may be something else, but for right now … that’s happy. And it’s good.

Can you name two things that don’t go together? There they are. Happiness and control.

As long as we are trying to control an outcome, we’re never going to be happy. Imagine right now … say to yourself, “I would really be happy if …” and I’ll tell you that inevitably it will mean that if something or other would just go differently than it is, i.e. how you would like it, you could be happy. This is a lesson that comes up again and again and again. And in every area of one’s life.

Right now for me, both of my animals have serious medical problems, one just discovered within the last week. I would be happy if … this weren’t so; if … I could alter the outcome; if … what ails them could be turned around. None of this is reality. I can do the best I can to comfortably extend their lives for as long as possible. Who knows how long that might be? Surely, not me. And I can enjoy their wonderful company for as long as that is. I can do my best and that’s all I can do. And if I can get my head straight – it seems to come in and out of this – I can actually be happy right now as they have so far lived wonderful, happy lives and given me so much joy. And they will continue to do so for as long as they do.

We all have circumstances in our lives we wish were different. They often involve others, no? But what we need to always remember is that we are all living beings, of one species or another, on our own journeys in this lifetime. I’m not here to control yours. Nor you, mine. I don’t believe it’s our job to keep trying to control how things turn out. We can do our best to be a force for good, but beyond that, we need to trust that the Universe is in order and all is happening exactly as it should.

And there’s the happiness. Not saying it’s easy, but in that peaceful, trusting state of mind, it becomes much easier. Be happy. Me, too.

p.s. The photo is of the happiest plant on my porches. This was not the year of the thriving plants and flowers, but for some reason, this coleus, in a spot I considered probably too sunny, just gets more rich and beautiful every day. Perhaps that’s what I’m talking about.