A Life in Lines

I recently went to the MVC (Motor Vehicle Commission) to get my REAL ID, and was offered the opportunity to have a new license photo taken. Sure, it’s been a while.

There’s nothing like having your photo taken by some official agency to reveal how we’ve aged, how many more lines we’ve added since our last such photograph. In our mirrors at home, we watch a slow and gradual change, so we can almost delude ourselves into thinking we haven’t really aged. It’s a harmless enough delusion.

Once back home, I decided to take an account of my face in the mirror.

There are definitely some lines. Among them, are many, many laugh lines. I know because when I smile, I see which ones they are. I also have squinting lines on my forehead and between my eyebrows, because I have grey eyes, and lighter eyes are always much more sensitive to sun then darker ones.

Some of the lines are simply natural aging, years of skin no longer capable of being taut as it was when I was younger. Pretty routine. I notice there really aren’t frown lines, or a down turned mouth, nothing angry.

But I also know, hidden in those lines, there are times of pain, anxiety, the stress of overcoming things life brought my way, delicate channels for tears. These lines are, to use the words of a friend, my Badge of Courage.

In the end, whether in a harshly lit photo for a driver’s license, in the soft and generous photo taken by a friend, or a selfie, all these lines are no more, no less, than a life lived.

Do What Makes You Happy

Reminder to self: Draw more. It makes you happy.

Reminder to you: Do what makes you happy.

When so many things in the world feel like they’re falling apart at the seams, do what you love, whatever it is.  Every moment of love sent out into the world is a stitch in repairing the fabric so carelessly rent by those whose souls have long ago ceased to care.

Nineteen Minutes

Nineteen minutes is how long it took for high school junior Peter Houghton to enter Sterling High and kill ten people and wound another nineteen. However, it took his whole life from when he was first bullied at five years old to that point, having endured years of emotional and physical abuse from his classmates, to now, when he’d finally had enough.

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult is a complex, challenging, and astonishing read which covers many issues beyond the central focus of the school shooting. Bullying is the thread weaving the entire story together. The novel focuses primarily on one character, Peter, who could never seem to fit in. His non-stop torment began his first day on the bus to kindergarten when bigger kids threw his cherished Superman lunchbox out the window. Peter was five, and had dreamed of his first day of school. Josie, like Peter, and a good friend when they were young, had also always felt out of place until high school, when she became the girlfriend of a popular boy. Being bullied and treated abusively by him was the price Josie paid for her popularity.

Nineteen Minutes is about the many ways a child can be failed, even if unintentionally, by family, friends, and school. It asks what it means to be different in today’s society, and who has the right to judge another. It talks about how easily entire lives can be destroyed; how the truth comes out in the end; and how justice may be served.

Nineteen Minutes is also about individuals and families who are truly doing the best they can in trying to understand the young people in their lives. Ultimately, the book is about love, friendship, judgment, pain, redemption, and death, played out in the lead-up and aftermath of just nineteen minutes of violence.

Ms. Picoult has scrupulously researched every detail and aspect of school shootings and the myriad fields related to them, including forensics, court proceedings, the psychology of school shooters, and more. Her novel is also a consistently banned book, but it might also be the book that teens, their parents, and teachers most need to read.

Nineteen Minutes, published in 2007, is totally relevant today. It is incredibly impressive throughout, and packs an unexpected double punch at the end. It has left me thinking for days, wondering how, as such a supposedly advanced society, we are not doing better. Highly recommended.

This was a long post. If you’re still here, thanks for reading through to the end.

p.s. Last night, I continued to edit this piece, planning to post it today. When I opened my online news this morning, I found that there had been a school shooting in Tumbler Ridge, B.C., Canada. Nine total were killed, including the shooter who took their own life, and twenty-seven wounded. That this was transpiring while I wrote about school shootings confirmed that I needed to post this.

Photo credits: Hallway by Yash Patel/Unsplash; Bullying from WeStockProductions/Shutterstock  

Trusting Life

The holidays, no matter what we celebrate, seem to inescapably be a time for reflection. Not in the New Year’s resolution kind of way, but more of a quiet taking stock.

How did you do? Did you accomplish some of your goals? Did you let go of things/people that have been holding you back? Make new connections? Find new inspiration? Have you been taking care of your health, mentally and physically? Have you nurtured your dreams?

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to give yourself credit for all you’ve done and all you’ve tried to do, whether everything was a finished masterpiece or not.

Looking back over 2025, acknowledge all your growth. Be proud of yourself. Love yourself for every little thing. You did good.

I’m sharing this book here because Louise Hay (r.i.p.) has been a guide on my life path for decades, and was one of my first. She overcame a truly and deeply painful past, and rose to become known worldwide for her message of love. How important it is to embrace self love and heal ourselves, and in so doing, the world. This book is a good reminder.

Trusting life isn’t always so easy these days. Loving ourselves can be a challenge. So when you sit down to reflect a bit on your own life, please remember all you overcame this year. Know you are loved.

More on Louise Hay here.