learning

What Am I Learning Now?

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Always, I am learning. Sometimes without my consent. Or awareness.

Sometimes people push us. They are rude and childish and treat us unfairly. In some cases, what we’re learning, perhaps a lifelong lesson, is that their behavior has little or nothing to do with us. It feels personal, but in actuality, it very rarely is.

People are not all on the same level of emotional, mental, or spiritual maturity. They’ve never worked on themselves to grow emotionally. They act out of patterns that they were taught all their lives, and are still being taught.

We might even behave the same way at times. The difference is that some of us try really hard to bring our most emotionally mature self to the table, and the other, while nodding their head, doesn’t really understand what we’re talking about.

Others’ lack of emotional maturity doesn’t excuse rude and childish behavior towards us. It does, however, shed a light on how we need to deal with them, or if we even want to deal with them at all, given the choice.

Having a better idea of what it is that I’m learning, and where I’m going with it, is one of the reasons that I journal every day. Knowing what we know is a good thing.

Pushed by Change

/ still a dreamer / 10 Comments

We all come upon times in our lives when change becomes unavoidable.

Circumstances become such that we no longer have a choice – something has to give. The upside is that being pushed when we’re too tired to even run can sometimes yield the most unexpected and life-changing results.

In Anna Quindlen’s Still Life with Bread Crumbs, Rebecca Winter, a relatively famous NYC photographer, faces those circumstances. She suddenly finds herself with overwhelming financial responsibilities due to family obligations no one else can carry, and a diminishing income due to a narcissistic husband and abusive agent.

To save money and sort out her life, she rents a somewhat ramshackle cottage in upstate New York. There Rebecca finds the unexpected – a very different kind of life, the life she hadn’t known she needed and the life she was truly made for.  

What an excellent read! I have read both fiction and non-fiction by this Pulitzer Prize-winning author and journalist. She has never failed to capture my heart, imagination, or intellect, often all three. Highly recommended. 4 stars.

p.s. Inspired by this novel, I’ve decided to return to Quindlen’s Thinking Out Loud and finish reading!

Making It Worth It

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

I feel like I’m pretty safe in saying that anyone reading this post is at a point in life that if it’s worth doing at all, we want to make it worth it.

Please use your imagination and forgive the “sketch-like” appearance of the above image I created. I had a great school visit last week, and in all the excitement with the kids, we forgot to take any photos.

A school visit will always include a reading of one’s book, Q and A at the end, and some information for the children related to the book. In my case, I have discussed identifying butterflies, facts about them, plus information on the importance of pollinators, to which butterflies belong.

But it all wasn’t exciting ME. What would make ME excited about doing this book visit with “Butterflies”? What did I need to share that would have more value?

What could the story and the butterflies themselves teach? Now I had it!

Three takeaways: Use your imagination, based on our discussing Stella’s amazing interpretation of a butterfly’s appearance; always be kind to animals, based on advising kids never to touch a butterfly’s wings, lest it lose scales and be unable to fly; and embrace change, because life is full of changes, and we can be like the butterfly fighting its way out of the chrysalis, saying, “I can do this”, and “this change will make me stronger.”

Above are the 8.5″ x 11″ placards I made. The takeaways had the attention of these 6-8 year olds. And me.

Life isn’t getting any longer here. I feel a greater need to make whatever I do matter. Especially now. More than ever, we need our compassion and humanity not only intact, but strengthened. I hope I did that for a couple of those kids.

How Much Time for Ourselves?

/ still a dreamer / 6 Comments

Technically speaking, all our time is for ourselves, but when we ask this question, what is implied is how much time for things we don’t have to or should do. How much time for things that make us happy or give us pleasure? And how do we even know where that line is?

The bottom line is (speaking for myself), I am not getting any younger and there are things that are important to do, even if reading a book is one of them, or sharing time with like-minded people. There is always the reality that an income needs to be made, a house kept up, animals cared for, but what about the rest?

Raised in a society that firmly believes in a strong work ethic (which is fine to a degree), we are also often raised to believe that we should always be busy, “doing something” (meaningful is the implication there), and enjoy our reward at the end of the day or perhaps on the weekend. But what about if we toss our schedule and sit and read a book for a few hours smack dab in the middle of the (work) day? Or write? Or draw? Is that tyranny? Punishable by guilt?

Personally, I’m very tired of the restraints that are so incorporated in our brains that they became our reality. But that’s just the old reality we were raised with. I want to create a new reality. I am ready for the book you see here – it’s about changing everything and the way we perceive it and how we live and how we can heal ourselves. It requires learning, understanding, and focusing in a way that we were never taught, or even knew existed in those formative years. Change.

How much time is really for me? For ourselves? Why not change the equation?

Stories Change Us

/ still a dreamer / 9 Comments

And stories make us grow. They add colors and textures and emotions and new perceptions to our personal library called `self’. Stories add depth and dimension to our being, and give us perspectives on things that we may never have considered, whether fiction or non-fiction.

That is, of course, if we choose good books.

Up until a couple days ago, I had several spots around the house with books that I had picked up here and there, books I’ve been waiting to read. Now they’re all in one place. And as I am just finishing the fabulous book I’ve been reading, I also find myself wondering … who do I want to meet next? Where do I want to go? What time period feels inviting right now? What do I want to know?

And which book, which story, will take me there? Is it here on my shelves, or will I take a trip to the library? Reading is just such an incredible gift.