The Woman and the Dog

It was in the late 80’s on the Lower East Side that I saw her, a woman sharing her quilt with a beautiful Harlequin Great Dane on a street corner at Cooper Square .

I just had to go and say hello to the dog, as we animal lovers are often wont to do. When I came closer, I saw that the woman was very clean, but shabbily dressed, perhaps wearing the only clothes she owned. The dog’s coat was so bright, you needed sunglasses. I could see she was homeless, and her dog was undoubtedly her life.

“May I pet your dog?” I asked. The sun rose in her face and shone with joy.

“Please, sit down,” she offered.

I sat on the quilt, and proceeded to pet and get all mushy with the affectionate Dane. I asked about him, and she was absolutely elated to be able to talk about her magnificent companion. Soon, I was telling her about my Chloe at home, a pit bull terrier who had come to the shelter at 6 months old with a broken leg. We chatted and laughed about our dogs, animals, and life in general as any two new acquaintances would do.

At some point, I had to get going, and we said our goodbyes, still smiling and glowing. I stopped at a small market to get a sandwich and coffee, and decided to get the same for her plus a bag of dog food for the Dane. But when I returned to the corner, she was gone, perhaps shooed away by the police, or maybe that was the amount of interaction she could tolerate; one couldn’t know.

I hoped this beautiful homeless soul would find some peace, comfort, and safety with her dog. I have never forgotten them. A recent event brought them to mind again.

On a particular TV channel (whose “news” I will never watch, and which is heavily constructed of lies), two hosts were talking about the “homeless problem”. One said that if the homeless weren’t willing to accept the resources the city offered, they should be locked up. The other replied, ““Or involuntary lethal injection, or something. Just kill ’em.” Yes, you read that correctly, as unbelievable as it may seem. You can find that clip here.

How has this situation come so far? While homelessness cuts across race, gender, and nationality, essentially, these are people suffering severe economic hardship. They may be our veterans, having seen combat in wars overseas; they come home with PTSD, are unable to manage life, and find no one to help them.

They are former patients of mental institutions, released when it was decided to shut down the hospitals, giving people already unable to cope with life the responsibility of getting somewhere on their own to pick up their meds. But more often than not, they are people who lost their jobs, their home, their car … everything … and had nowhere to turn. They are our neighbors. And there but for some saving grace, they are you. They are me.

Why we have homelessness is not due to a lack of money; it’s due to a lack of love.

The responsibility sits on the shoulders of your average citizen all the way up to elected leaders who have zero concern for humanity and are comfortable fostering hate. Or they simply don’t see the homeless as human beings. Or a priority.

But we – you and I – can still make a difference by continuing to be kind and caring, and believing that this multiplies exponentially, even if slower than we’d like. Peace always begins with us.

Please keep shining.

Coping

In times of stress, it’s important to maintain our balance, and keep as much love flowing as possible. It’s not always easy, but here are a few things I do to stay steady. I’m sure they would help you, too.

Journaling …

I have been writing like a madwoman in the mornings. In part, to clear my head, but also to sort out dreams, and make plans about where I’m headed with important aspects of my life. If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it.

Taking pictures …

Photography lifts me up. I love taking pictures, and I know that expressing ourselves in whatever form of creativity we love is always a bonus. Think about making a little time for your own creative endeavors. It doesn’t need to have a purpose.

Baking/Cooking …

I don’t have a lot of time to bake (or sometimes, even cook), but whenever I do, it’s always so rewarding. Taking the time to nourish ourselves properly and well is important. Isn’t there something you want to make?

Creating for others …

I enjoy creating memes and sharing poetry and music on social media. It is always my hope that I can put a smile on someone’s face, or inspire them in some little way. I’m sure you have ways of doing the same. Do it!

Pulling back from the news …

I have found, for my well-being, I need to seriously cut back on how much news I’m exposed to. The sheer negativity of what is transpiring right now is soul-crushing. We can rarely change what’s going on, but we can change how we react.
We are entitled to some peace in our lives, and one way to find that is to limit fear, especially in overwhelming doses. Prioritize your peace.

And please keep waving.

When Pen and Paper Heal

Journaling is a highly underrated tool in the toolbox of wellness. Do you write daily?

There is something about putting words to your thoughts and emotions that can not only lift your spirits and lighten your mental load for the day ahead, but also provide insight into so much of your life.

Once written down, the words offer us, now or later, a chance to get to know ourselves better, to find ways to heal and become more of who we’d like to be. Journaling is actually pretty powerful.

I’ve been journaling faithfully every morning for decades. There are days when it feels like a much-needed dump of the clutter in my head, but more often, it’s a way for me to sort things out, see where I am and where I’m going.

All you need is a journal or notebook and a pen. What’s to lose?

Fearless

Look at that little guy … a young praying mantis, sitting next to Pumpkin (R.I.P.), one of the most fearless animals I have ever known.

How is the mantis so brave? Is this innate to his species, or an individual who takes risks or is just naive and inexperienced?

Looking at ourselves, if we aren’t fearless like the mantis, how did we get this way? Perhaps the bigger question is can we become more brave?

I believe there are two core emotions – fear and love, the opposite of one another. To become fearless, or start heading in that direction, we need to love ourselves more, to tip the scales. We need to let go of things we were told that we were. These often had nothing to do with us, but more to do with the individuals that told us. Think about it.

Many of our behaviors that make us unhappy today were once developed as children because we needed them in order to cope or survive, whether to make others happy or comfortable or just to leave us alone. But we can look at ourselves now, at our fears, our outer coats of beliefs that no longer work in our lives, and release them.

It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Looking and seeing who we are underneath those once-needed layers, we can love and accept ourselves for what we find, forgive ourselves for behaving in ways we have not understood. And we can change. It takes time, and it’s not always easy, but we are capable of change.

We are always braver than we believe.

p.s. As for the yet-unnoticed, young praying mantis … I called Pumpkin over to my back door for a snack, and the little one, apparently having made his point (to me), quickly disappeared.

Ocean Poem

It’s the last hurrah of summer. I rarely share my poetry online, but … here I am.

Ocean

Foam, waves, tripple around my feet
now gloriously raw from the pebbles and shell bits.
White bubbling sea patterns
rushing up cold to catch me
in their beckoning game,
spitting up dares from amidst green breakers
and blended from a cerulean horizon.
Yes, I’m red-raw, but come `round me,
I see you so little, my friend.

© Jeanne Balsam