What Patience Yields …

… a desire to return to the final version of the blue heron I’d wanted to do.

Version #3 is a combo of pen and ink, watercolor, and digital. Just playing around is not always something we (creatives) allow ourselves often enough, but it’s the only way we find new things and grow.

Patience and Trust

It seems that there are periods in our lives when we have plans, goals, dreams, and we are just not going to get to them when we want. Plans? What are those?

To create art, to plan a future, to write, to do any of the things that a freelancer wants and needs to do takes blocks of time, and more importantly, focus. And that’s what I have been sorely missing.

Sorting out my life in the interest of giving up 40% of my second floor has been a two-part journey. The first part is choosing what belongings need to stay and which to go. Thanks to Buy Nothing, mentioned in an earlier post, I was able to find new homes for 45 items. But the second part is the need to go through everything I own – every closet, dresser, storage area – to see what no longer aligns with who I am right now, and THAT has been a life review of large proportions.

It has entailed remembering so much – joy, sorrow, laughter – through photos, art, and other items infused with memories. I keep trying to focus on where I’m going, but between Buy Nothing and a life review, on top of the demands of everyday life, I have none. I’ve lost so much time. And energy. The blue heron is a tiny example – started out with a color sketch, then another version in watercolor, and my plan was/is to do a digital rendering. That was a week ago.

I remind myself to have patience, and to trust, as I do believe, that everything is unfolding in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time, always for me. It’s all almost done. Patience and trust … working on it, working on it.

Scattered

You know that feeling of being all over the place? Yeah. That’s where I am. There are so many things that I both need to do and want to do (not necessarily the same things), and I feel like I’m in the center of the room, spinning, not knowing which way to go.

A fellow writerly blogger, Pam, just did a clever post on her blog, roughwighting, which weaves the titles of many of the books she’s read this past year into a coherent story. Then she lists allllll the books she’s read. Talk about intimidating! What have I been doing with myself in 2023 that I haven’t read that many?? (Please cue the self-pity.)

She asks what is the best book we’ve read in 2023, and at least I can answer that one – The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman. It expanded my list of my 6 favorite novels of all time to 7. But back to the spinning ….

  • Many, many things need to be done to get my show on the road to both fulfill my dreams and make a living – that’s my actual workload. Love it all, but a big chunk of my time.
  • I want to read my current book, Educated by Tara Westover. Also the two non-fiction I’m reading, The Creative Act by Rick Rubin and Sensitive is the New Strong by Anita Moorjani. I want to listen to more music, and keep watching the Kdrama I’m really enjoying, Itaewon Class
  • But I feel like baking chocolate chip cookies. And I’ve been thinking of trying the faux tuna I bought in a tuna-noodle casserole and need to find a recipe.
  • And I have still more sorting and purging to do of belongings, art, and furniture in the back bedroom I’m losing to it being annexed to next door, and need to find homes for it all, a consuming task.
  • I need to start drawing for my own book. I want to update a manuscript or two to send to publishers.
  • A bit more snow shoveling to do. Maybe tomorrow, some nice photos of the recent snowfall. (Above is an earlier snow shot.) And a quick run out to get fresh eggs.

I do make lists, but I think we sometimes have to sit ourselves down and remind ourselves that we really are one person, forgive ourselves for not being super-human. Stop spinning. Take the deep breath we need to take. And breathe. Just breathe.

The Holidays Are Here!

And it’s the time of year for those of us who create for a living to remind visitors that all the things we’ve worked so hard on are ready to be gifted!

If you’re looking for a great gift for a child, you can really never go wrong with a book. And if you want a book that will light up the eyes of a little one with wonder, please consider my Where Do Butterflies Go at Night? The story is in rhyme, and takes you through an enchanted nighttime journey while the little boy dreams of the possibilities of where his cabbage white friends go when they disappear at dusk.

I was so fortunate to have the artwork done by illustrator Stella Mongodi – she really found the magic in my words and brought them to life. Butterflies is available at all major online booksellers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, bookshop, and more.

May your holidays be wonderfully filled with good books and good reading!

Seeing vs. Looking

Looking is what we do all the time. It’s how we negotiate our world. But seeing … that’s something special.

Sitting out on my back porch recently, I suddenly saw these incredible shadows made by the hydrangeas and porch railings. I saw a parrot, a rabbit, maybe a dragon, an acorn. Because instead of just looking with my eyes, I saw with my mind, my wider perception.

Not long ago, I’d taken a photo of my kitchen counter, because I became aware of the color of the shadow on the Thermos and the mug – so blue!

I love this photo of the hydrangeas because the shadows are so very soft and blue-grey, but also because it seemed to me that the leaf was in love with the hydrangea flower. Yes, my imagination, but when we really look at things, we see more deeply.

If we stop, we might see patterns all about us, lines and shapes that we casually pass by every day, until one day, we really see them.

I guess what I’m saying here is that our world is so much richer than we know or acknowledge. And all it takes to open that richness is to be in the present moment and see what’s around us.