success

The word ‘deadlines’ has gotten a bad reputation, perhaps because in many circumstances, they are imposed from without. But when we set up our own, deadlines really are a form of self-care.

Without deadlines, we can be at the mercy of our emotions and lose valuable time. Not the kind of deadlines that make us crazy, but reasonable time frames to help us accomplish our goals.

There have been times in my life where I have elevated procrastination to the level of high art. And while I can be very creative in how I avoid facing certain tasks, in the end, it only makes me feel less accomplished and less successful, as they still sit patiently waiting for me.

In my experience, procrastination around my creative work always boils down to fear – fear that it won’t be “good enough”, that I won’t be able to execute what I am envisioning, that I could have done more. There are so many things wrong with those thoughts. The bottom line is that we all still feel better when we do what we need to do.

That’s why looking at deadlines/self-discipline in a different way makes so much more sense. Striving to set and meet goals means loving ourselves more. And not to be trite, but we’re worth it.

I still may struggle at times, but deadlines=loving myself is where I’m headed. How about you?

Lists were once my steadfast friends. They stood by me through thick and thin, kept me organized and on track, and confident that everything was going smoothly. And then they took a turn, and could, I found, be my worst critics, leading me to wonder if I was failing.

I’ve always had two different list pads. The one you see on the left takes myriad forms and appearances. What I list there is still enormously useful – food shopping and cleaning tasks go there, as well as my daily to-do list for work. As my work has me often jumping back and forth between different projects and/or different clients, a list makes sure I cover everything and get done what needs to be done in a timely manner. Those lists are still my friends.

It’s the one on the right that had become suspect. I absolutely love this list pad – given to me by a friend who has always believed in me, it simply says “FOLLOW YOUR PATH.” It’s where I have always listed my personal creative goals – my writing and illustrating of children’s books; growing my shop and business on Etsy which features my French Bulldog art; updating and writing my current website and blogs; expanding a social media presence, etc., etc. Needless to say, all of these involve a multitude of tasks and effort. So I started making lists on this pad of all the things I need to do.

It was the first time a list ever turned on me, taunted me, left me feeling like I might be failing. Whenever I looked at that list, it made me wonder how would I ever possibly get where I wanted to go? And then I decided to not write any of it down. After all, who knows better than I what needs to be done?

I decided to go for a kinder and gentler use of that lovely pad. Now I consider the time I have, and the task(s) I most need and want to get done and can accomplish in that time, and chunk it down into do-able steps. The fact is, neither I – nor you – can do everything at once, and for this we need to forgive ourselves while still doing what we CAN do. We can assess our goals; make sure we have our priorities straight; and then make a plan to get there.

And so my list became my friend again.