Still A Dreamer

That’s all I could think of to say. And with that, I closed the bathroom door as fast as I could.

Holy Moly! That was the biggest spider I have ever seen in any place I’ve lived! (though not the biggest one I’ve ever seen.)  Including his legs, which were kind of scrunched up, he took up a circular space about 2″ in diameter. What to do?

OK, the usual paper cup I put over other insects to take them outside might not even cover this guy, and I didn’t want to waste any time, because if he got into the bathroom, he could probably find his way out again. Think! Got it. I had a 1/2 pint deli container that would work. I opened the bathroom door and he hadn’t moved. I carefully placed the container over him, which scared him quite a bit, then very gently slid the piece of cardboard underneath. Now he was panicking trying to get out. Just hold on, I kept telling him, as I made my way out the side door.

While I might have released a smaller spider at the far end of the driveway, I really didn’t want to see this guy again anytime soon, so we walked down to the river. Over the tracks, there was a large pile of brush and broken branches of various sizes and plenty of leaf litter. Perfect. I put the container and cardboard down and tipped it so he could get out. He made a few false starts then out he went. Within seconds, he blended into his surroundings and couldn’t even be seen. Whew!

I had only seen a spider that big once before – in the library meeting room where my writers’ group met. (He got released, too.) My research when I got home had identified that one as a wolf spider, and I believe this one is, too. I searched on The Bug Guide, and found some photos with the unusual patterning that this spider had. (Thanks to Charley Eiseman for this photo which shows that patterning perfectly.)

So now the question … why did he appear to me? I am of the belief that when animals appear to us it may be of significance. The best resource I’ve found for understanding the meaning of a particular animal who may be a totem is Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak. He tells us this about spiders appearing in our lives: the spider is associated in mythology and by mystics with 3 primary expressions  – the magic and energy of creation, the assertiveness of that creative force, (particularly keeping the feminine energies of creativity alive), and an association with spiral energy, i.e., the links with the past and future. According to Ted Andrews, some of the questions one might ask when Spider comes into our lives are … Are you moving toward a specific goal or becoming scattered? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments rather than your own? Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you feeling closed in or stuck? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through?

This is just a tiny sampling of the wisdom that surrounds the lore and potential magic/inspiration with Spider as a totem. Andrews writes 4 lengthy pages on the spider alone. Having re-read about Spider appearing in my life, as I did when he appeared to my writing group, I am led to believe that it is now time for me to return to my most creative self. And if the size of that spider is any indication … I’d say in a BIG way.