“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandi
It sometimes strikes me how often we complain about one thing or another or see behavior we can easily criticize. The world is rapidly changing, and with more and more people involved with texting and their iPhones, etc., it sometimes seems like a less and less friendly world. Certainly, it can seem like a less considerate one.
But really, this is just the current manifestation of what sometimes looks like the breakdown of civilized society. It’s taken on many different faces over the years.
About 16+ years ago, I moved out to this side of the state of New Jersey to a far kinder and gentler life. My county is highly agricultural. There’s still lots of open space, both fields and woods, and it’s inhabited by a lot of people who still have a connection to the land and to nature. It’s a very different mindset than the bustling city, cool as that was when I lived there, or even towns in the suburbs, which still have a very active lifestyle, as did mine.
In my little newfound town in Western NJ was something that, to me, epitomized the gentler mentality out here … a one way railroad trestle underpass. The trestle is over a well-traveled two-lane blacktop connecting the areas south of it to the very busy Route 78, a mile to the north, which runs across the state, just about into the Hudson River and NYC. What I so loved about this spot was that everyone took turns when they were coming or going under this little one way underpass. “After you.” “Go ahead,” they waved. Civilization at its best.
Then they started building the McMansions. With them came a whole lot of people in a big hurry to get to Rt. 78 and their hellish commute to points East. And there went the civility. The motto of these people was “I’m going to get me mine.” And they pushed through, ten cars at a time, if needs be, to make sure they did. But the good thing?
We “locals”, as I suppose we are, didn’t go that route. We kept on waving the next car through the narrow passageway. If we didn’t get to pass for a few cars, so be it. And I still do that every time I get to that train trestle. Some of the oncoming drivers look surprised. Most wave thanks, just as we all always have. Do those of us who support this small kindness make a difference?There’s no way of knowing. But I still see lots of people taking turns.
What is true, is that by joining the ranks of the inconsiderate and rude, nothing will change for the better. So we can be the change we wish to see in the world, or add to the problem. I believe that whatever we do positive in this world does make a difference. So feel free to wave me on when you get to the underpass, and I’ll do the same for you.
Today, Memorial Day, we can all be a change we’d like to see and it just takes a second and a show of appreciation. Thank a vet.
Still A Dreamer 
I am dropping by after a long time. Hope all is well you.
Change, and the whole world changes with you.
Love the pic, the place where you stay.
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Hi, there! Nice to see you stopping by to visit. We are all busy and it’s not always easy to keep up with anyone’s blog, leave alone our own. Thanks so much for the lovely compliments. Hope you’re well, too!
Jeanne
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Love this, Jeanne! Thank you so much for sharing. I am so happy you found a kinder and gentler place to land. 🙂 A slower pace to one’s life does seem to encourage more time for kindness and courtesy, I agree. xxxx
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The county where I live now is the best and most beautiful place I’ve ever lived, and that so many want to keep it that way, is what makes me want to stay. It takes so little to be kind. xoxo
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Gee Whizz~! A simple light system would fix that, but then we would need an infrastructure system first~!~!~! Hold your breath, those rich folks would not want to pay for an expensive light that could save a life, as long as they can still bull their way through.
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Except this is the country, and little train trestles like this are everywhere throughout the area, largely established in the 1700’s and 1800’s. Fortunately, there are rarely times when the bullying is a problem, mostly just for a bit around rush hour at either end of the day. The rest of the time, we just wave each other along and keep flowing nicely. 🙂
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Sorry to turn your post into a political statement,,,, a bad habit of mine~!….kindness IS the best solution, but in this case it does depend on two people practicing it at the same time…(just as it takes two parties to run a good government) There I did it again~!! I need to send myself to bed~!
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No problem … I sort of paved the way for you by mentioning the proliferation of McMansions! LOL. That alternating, though, is what reminds me that there are a lot of people who still do give a crap about one another, and amazingly enough, it’s clearly without regard to political orientation. Just kindness.
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I am still of the old school southern manners. I still let people in when they are trying to get out of side streets etc, stop for pedestrians crossing etc. Those who think that a millisecond will make a difference in when they get home are just not thinking clearly. I do sometime get dirty looks from some ladies when i hold the door for them or open their door when exiting the car….Can’t help it, it that was the way we were raised~! Even in school the teachers referred to us as Mr and Miss, this taught me a lot about respect, which is somewhat lost… I feel that this is where we have slipped today. Many children are downright rude, what will they be like when they become adults~?
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Happily, where I live it’s not like that, but yes, one does have to wonder.
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I have taken a few slaps at him too, one calling him a fifth columnist and another referring to him as a self indulging king maker.. our minds may run parallel.. but we did have encouragement.
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My politeness once got me into trouble…. It was my first visit in southern Algeria and I was alone. So I rented a little Fiat Cinquecento to just drive around the village of Colombe Bicher… When I got to a cross walk, I stopped and waved to the native women to walk on by, in front of me, by waving my hand in a normal “move on” motion.. All of a sudden my little car was surrounded by a bunch of very angry Arabs…. I learned my first lesson from them,,, The signal I made was a dirty sign, much like us “giving them the finger”…. In different places, different paces which I learned many times in my travels~!!
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