Helping Out

Coping

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

In times of stress, it’s important to maintain our balance, and keep as much love flowing as possible. It’s not always easy, but here are a few things I do to stay steady. I’m sure they would help you, too.

Journaling …

I have been writing like a madwoman in the mornings. In part, to clear my head, but also to sort out dreams, and make plans about where I’m headed with important aspects of my life. If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it.

Taking pictures …

Photography lifts me up. I love taking pictures, and I know that expressing ourselves in whatever form of creativity we love is always a bonus. Think about making a little time for your own creative endeavors. It doesn’t need to have a purpose.

Baking/Cooking …

I don’t have a lot of time to bake (or sometimes, even cook), but whenever I do, it’s always so rewarding. Taking the time to nourish ourselves properly and well is important. Isn’t there something you want to make?

Creating for others …

I enjoy creating memes and sharing poetry and music on social media. It is always my hope that I can put a smile on someone’s face, or inspire them in some little way. I’m sure you have ways of doing the same. Do it!

Pulling back from the news …

I have found, for my well-being, I need to seriously cut back on how much news I’m exposed to. The sheer negativity of what is transpiring right now is soul-crushing. We can rarely change what’s going on, but we can change how we react.
We are entitled to some peace in our lives, and one way to find that is to limit fear, especially in overwhelming doses. Prioritize your peace.

And please keep waving.

Fearless

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Look at that little guy … a young praying mantis, sitting next to Pumpkin (R.I.P.), one of the most fearless animals I have ever known.

How is the mantis so brave? Is this innate to his species, or an individual who takes risks or is just naive and inexperienced?

Looking at ourselves, if we aren’t fearless like the mantis, how did we get this way? Perhaps the bigger question is can we become more brave?

I believe there are two core emotions – fear and love, the opposite of one another. To become fearless, or start heading in that direction, we need to love ourselves more, to tip the scales. We need to let go of things we were told that we were. These often had nothing to do with us, but more to do with the individuals that told us. Think about it.

Many of our behaviors that make us unhappy today were once developed as children because we needed them in order to cope or survive, whether to make others happy or comfortable or just to leave us alone. But we can look at ourselves now, at our fears, our outer coats of beliefs that no longer work in our lives, and release them.

It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Looking and seeing who we are underneath those once-needed layers, we can love and accept ourselves for what we find, forgive ourselves for behaving in ways we have not understood. And we can change. It takes time, and it’s not always easy, but we are capable of change.

We are always braver than we believe.

p.s. As for the yet-unnoticed, young praying mantis … I called Pumpkin over to my back door for a snack, and the little one, apparently having made his point (to me), quickly disappeared.

Meandering in A Confused World

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

One of my small daily pleasures each morning once I’ve fed Charlie and made my coffee is to sit by the living room window and do two things – a perusal of Instagram, a gathering if you will, of positive words, thoughts and images (occasionally my own work), and then sharing them in my Stories. Then I journal to clear out the cobwebs, sort out my challenges, put to paper my joys and angst … whatever the day calls for.

While on IG, I always hope that whoever stops by gains some benefit from what I post. We know, vaguely, how the algorithms work; you get more of what you like (almost a corollary of karma, right?), and therefore, I find vast amounts of insight, positivity, and beauty. Some mornings, when I open the app, I am greeted with exactly what I need to know for that day. Because I do believe the Universe works that way.

Sometimes I share things like this, courtesy of @spiritualgoal –

Sometimes I post things I’ve been doing, like the gecko drawing above, or how I’ve redesigned my picture book, Where Do Butterflies Go at Night? 2nd Edition. (You can read that in detail here.)

But mostly, I’m sharing insights, inspiration, and the beauty of life.

Inevitably, while I scroll, I come across other things, often in Threads, about our current political circumstances. And sometimes, I drop in and read, because most of what’s really happening is on social nowadays, not the mainstream media. I find life – mental and emotional life – is a balancing act of trying to remain informed and at the same time, keeping my sanity.

It’s why the positivity is so important. Knowing, remembering, how important we are in the larger scheme of things. Even just being centered and loving in this world is a huge contribution. Holding the place of love.

And sometimes I create my own memes. This one’s for you. Just keep holding that light up high.

A Better Choice than`I Should’

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

Ever noticed how often you say `I should’? Those two words negatively imply that you have already failed to do something you need, want, or don’t want to do. Flip it. Mentally cross out `I should’ and replace it with one of the choices offered.

If you make a consistent effort, you’ll notice 1) how often you are saying `I should’, and 2) an improved feeling of positivity in how you approach things.

Frequently using the words `I should’, is often the sign of having identified with and incorporated a figure in our past who criticized us. This person likely needed control over a situation, and was rarely happy with how we went about things in that it wasn’t the way they wanted it done. Thus, we ‘should’ do it some other way, at some different time, etc.

As children, we incorporate those sentiments and those words, and grow up criticizing ourselves over often meaningless things. The fact is that the one who did the criticizing was likely treated the same way, and didn’t have the skills or knowledge in raising us to approach things in better and more helpful ways.

It’s also true that we don’t have to continue criticizing ourselves. We can change, and flipping the switch – substituting positive words such as those above – is a surprisingly simple way to begin seeing ourselves and others in a more positive light. Be diligent!

The Spirit of Giving

/ still a dreamer / 10 Comments

If there is one thing that is always true it is that everything always changes. I have had holidays so filled with the presence of people, dogs (when I did rescue), and other animals, that I barely had a minute to myself. And then I’ve had quieter ones, which is where I am now.

In the New Year, I will be losing a decent chunk of my second floor, as it is going to be annexed to the adjoining house next door. I can’t say I’m happy about losing this space, but there have been some unexpected upsides. One is that I am being forced to purge and clear out a good amount of belongings and furniture.

Ultimately, that means clearing out items from every area of the house, including the basement, as I sort what I want and don’t want and find new places for the “good stuff” to go. Several large Christmas boxes have been in the basement, never opened since I moved here – no time, no full-size tree. I’ve had/have furniture that I have no deep attachment to anymore. So why do I have it? I’m used to it being there.

Drawers/closets need to be gone through and sorted to make room for what I’m keeping. But here’s the other upside. I was alerted to a small, hyper-local organization called Buy Nothing that serves only my town and the town adjacent. It is a Facebook site purely for gifting things we don’t want or need that others might use or appreciate. In addition to #gift, you can also #ask if there’s something you are looking for.

Here’s how that’s working. The ornaments were requested by a desperate family who were unable to find what had happened to their own ornaments. When they picked up the box, they left a jar of homemade candied jalapenos in its place. The sheet music was requested by a mom who, along with her husband and son, plays piano and is eager to try some of the classics. The organizer (never used) was requested by several women to help them get 2024 together. And so on.

But what’s particularly lovely is how eager our local residents are to help one another. The beautiful gnome bread above was baked just to give away to someone who would like it. Another baker had sourdough starter to offer, and was rewarded by a photo of the recipient’s first sourdough loaf ever.

This makes a quiet Christmas such a different experience. I will miss the space, but am happy to not have so many things that I no longer need or care about. I sometimes feel a little lonely this year, but I know that I am surrounded by many more caring people than I ever suspected. I believe this is the spirit of love and giving at its best.

Happy Christmas, Hanukah, or whatever holiday you celebrate. May the spirit of love and giving be yours.