Exactly Where We’re Supposed to Be

October 2, 2014October 9, 2014 / still a dreamer / 8 Comments

On my path in life I have been told this numerous times by those who have guided me along the way. When life is going smoothly, we can understand this and can breathe a luxurious sigh of relief. Feel happy, even. But when things are not going all that well, in one way or another, a fairly immediate response to that same statement sounds something like, “Seriously? This is exactly where I’m supposed to be?”

I don’t know where so many people got the idea that life should just sail along and bad things should never happen to us, but it’s a pretty commonly held belief at its core. Intellectually, we all know better, of course. Things happen. That’s life. But on some deeper emotional level, many of us are truly taken aback when life throws us the usual curves it dishes up. Somehow we should not really get injured or ill, certainly not seriously, (occasional colds being the understandable exception); we should not lose loved ones, nor have to suffer terrible financial hardship; everything in relationships should be able to be worked out to everyone’s satisfaction in the end; our children should be grateful and well-behaved; we should not lose our jobs; our homes should never catch fire, nor our cars break down in the middle of nowhere … these things just shouldn’t be happening. Right?

And yet they do. And in the midst of all the mess that is a part of life, I am repeatedly told that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. As are you.

I know when I step back that it’s true. I can’t control a great deal of what life brings to me, but I can control how I react to it, and in that, I AM exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m in the ideal spot to look at a situation, grasp its reality, and respond to it in the highest and best way possible.

Every obstacle we meet in life can be looked at as an opportunity to grow, to further develop the abilities we have to handle life and everything in it with love, dignity and grace. Of course, we have the option to feel miserable, to whine, complain and throw tantrums, but when we’re done with that, having found it’s gotten us nowhere, we can still try and figure out why what’s happening is happening, why it’s such a challenge, and then do something about it.

So even as I will sometimes want to sit and whine and/or do nothing in the face of various challenges, I remind myself that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And there may be a reason for that; I have something to learn. If it’s not a good place, what do I need to do to make it better? I can actually be grateful to be given this chance to grow.

It’s a different perspective … and surprisingly effective when given a try.

Stillness – the Lighter Side

August 21, 2014 / still a dreamer / 23 Comments

I was thinking about my last post on Stillness, and something came into my head. I’d written a post on stillness about 7 years ago but from a very different angle – a lighter and more humorous one. So for those of you who weren’t checking me out back then, here’s a revisit of something I learned about relaxation, a corollary of stillness. Pictured is my handsome Claude, still missed, the Master of Relaxation.

Have you ever noticed the positions your animals get into? They make it look as if they invented the word `relax’. They stretch out, especially in the heat, so every potential draft will ease slowly over their languid bodies. They make it look so damn easy.
Now you might think that this is a comment on my own inability to relax, which is far from the truth. In fact, it brings to mind an experience of many moons ago when my then-husband came home to find me lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling or into space. He asked what was I doing?
I said “nothing.”
With an incredulous look on his face, he said, “What do you mean, nothing?”
“I mean nothing. I’m doing nothing. As in, nothing.” Seemed pretty clear to me.
“How could you just be doing nothing,” he asked. “You have to be doing something!”
Now THIS was a man who had a hard time relaxing!
I tried to search for what it was I was doing, and all I came up with was … in trying to satisfy the question … “I guess I’m daydreaming .. or just thinking.”
And then, with the same confused face, he asked, “How can you just lie there and do nothing?”
Well, I thought I had just come up with an answer as to what I was doing, but I let that go, and said, “Here, just lie down, and kind of stare into space and let your mind relax. You know, just drift around a bit.”
He lay down and for all intents and purposes, assumed the position one would take if they were to relax. He looked up at the ceiling.
Then he looked at me.
“I don’t know how you can just do nothing. I can’t do nothing.”
I don’t really remember what happened after that, except that he wasn’t next to me anymore. Probably feeling guilty for now having the audacity to have actually spent a few moments of my life doing nothing, I’m sure I joined him and made it my business to start doing something.
But I think the animals still have the right idea. They have learned the fine art of doing nothing, of just being in the moment. They stretch out … close their eyes … take a deep breath and they’re off into dreamland or wherever animals go when they close their eyes. We have such a lot to learn from them … and this is one of their best lessons.

Stillness

August 19, 2014 / still a dreamer / 8 Comments

Being still is one of the most wonderful and simple ways we can manage our lives, our feelings, our stress, our actions … you name it.

I try, and generally succeed, to journal every day in the morning. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, refers to this as a “morning dump,” getting rid of all the garbage we’re holding in our heads so we can begin the day fresh and with minimal interference from negativity. While she is recommending this for artists, it is, of course, of the same benefit to everyone. I do love to write so this is a wonderful and freeing piece of time, a gift to myself which I do not allow to be disturbed. It’s a great way to sort out some of the stresses and problems we’re dealing with and look at them afresh, as well as plan a new day.

It’s more than that, however. It’s also a time for stillness. Along with my writing, I often take a few minutes to do any of the following — center my breathing, meditate a little, read something metaphysical, and/or do a few affirmations. The stillness is a tremendous benefit to beginning the day, but it also teaches us that we can practice stillness any time things starts to get stressful. When we are still, we connect spiritually with ourselves and with our God, higher power, however one perceives that. We open and can listen for guidance.

There are times during certain work projects that I am ready to up and buy myself a ticket on the Crazy Train, it gets so stressful. But if I can remember to pull back, change my scenery just a wee bit, and breathe rhythmically and easily, restore my balance and be still, it can do wonders. Ideally it’s best to do this way before I’m at the ticket booth, but better late than never!

So consider, as your stress and anxiety begin to mount, that you can do something about it before it gets out of hand. Be still and breathe for a minute or two, opening your mind and releasing negativity. It may take a little practice at first, and the beginning of your day is a great time to try it out along with a little journaling. Both are gifts to and for yourself.

The Books that Saved A Life

August 6, 2014 / still a dreamer / 12 Comments

A fellow writer and book-loving friend of mine just sent me this link, and as I have a moment, I want to share it that more people will get to see it. Please share.

We have all read books that were in some way life-changing. In this YouTube video series named “Call Me Ishmael,” a fellow, (named Ishmael), transcribes and shares a voicemail of one person each day telling about a book they love. In this day’s video you will hear the call made by a young man named Ethan whose mother was a crack addict and the books that quite literally saved his life. Not to be missed.

Following Our Path

July 24, 2014 / still a dreamer / 4 Comments

This morning I felt called to look into my little metaphysical perpetual calendar, and as always, what I found was perfect for my day.

“For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly.”
~ Carlos Castaneda

There are times in our lives when our path seems to disappear from view. We’ve been drawn down paths to the side that beckon and call, needing or demanding our attention – finances, relationship conflicts, illness, the illness or death of others, job worries, and other challenges and distractions. These paths can lead deeper and deeper into a woods of fading light until we feel quite lost. And then we remember, we have a thread — a simple, single luminous thread to follow. That thread glows more brightly with each step we take out of the darkness to find again the glowing path that is uniquely ours.

May you walk your path — find or refind it — happily and bravely today. May your path be illuminated by the shimmering white light that is you and the Universe, one and the same. May it leave you breathless.

~ stilladreamer