Life

Letter to Yourself

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

In a recent issue of O magazine, there was an article in which O asked 17 accomplished women and men what advice they’d give the 25 year-olds they used to be.  Some of them were really terrific. Whoopi Goldberg advised her younger self to stay out of her own way. Shirley Maclaine told herself that “regardless of how outrageous it may seem, ask for guidance from your higher self and follow it.” And to eat less sugar. Candy Crowley, CNN anchor and chief political correspondent, would have told her 25 year-old self to “be brave; that most times the answer to What’s the worst that can happen? is Nothing you can’t handle.”

I admit I liked Shirley Maclaine’s the best of all of them, but it did get me to thinking. What would I write to my 25 year-old self? Oh, there’s so much I would say to her. But then I thought some more. What would I write to my 5 or 6 year-old self? And that just brought tears to my eyes. I would just cuddle up that kid whose blonde curls were starting to straighten out and let her know how alright everything was always going to be, no matter what. I would want to tell her that she is fine and will always be fine.

After I post this, I am going to sit down and think some more about what I’d like to write to myself at 5 or 6. Something about that age appeals to me. Think about it – what would you write to you when you were 25? What would the little boy or girl of 5 or 6 years old have benefited from knowing back then? I suspect your answers, your advice to younger you, might be a good thing for you to know.

I’d leave the computer and get your pen on paper. Dear ….

Moving through The Flame

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

I believe it was the Christmas before last that a dear friend gave me The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. Nepo is a poet who writes a daily (prose) offering of guidance for the reader, drawn from his own experiences, from others who struggle with their own humanness as well as the wisdom of the great traditions and teachers. Every day is a different subject and a beautifully written piece.

When I first got the book, I diligently followed along every day, enjoying the wisdom offered for the entire year. Now I dip in when I feel the call to do so which almost always assures me of a nugget of truth which is exactly what I need to hear at that time. I opened the book this morning to where my bookmark sat, May 25th, Through the Wall of Flame. The first paragraph reads:

Living long enough, we each find ourselves surrounded by an old way of being, thinking, or loving that is going up in flames. In that unexpected moment, we usually find ourselves full of fear, feeling trapped by an old way of life coming in on us. But this is the passage of rebirth that we must move through if our lives are to unfold. It is the momentary and painful crossing from what is old into what is new.

Nepo goes on to say how understandable it is to stall at this wall of flame, not wanting to go through, but that old ways can burn forever, and we can waste years in the waiting for the flames to go out. And they often never do.

I find there are times in life where things seem to be going smoothly, where we are moving easily forward in positive ways, where our goals and dreams are clearly in view. And then there are other times when they are obscured by Nepo’s described wall of flames … time to learn another lesson to help us grow. Oftentimes, the lessons are the same ones we have been learning and struggling with all along, but now at a new level, a new depth, with a greater challenge and … with a greater reward for pushing through. Even though we may occasionally lose sight of it in the trying.

Over the years, I have been told to be thankful for these challenges as they are opportunities to grow and to grow closer to my dreams. It’s not always easy to cross through the flames, and, while our hands are burning hot, to be grateful as well. The choice, however, is to stay safe at a far greater cost. What I have learned to do when it seems there are flames all about me is to just put one foot in front of the other and believe. Believe that I am always loved, believe that I will always survive the jump through, and believe that what is on the other side is richer than what I ever imagined.

In front of a wall of flames? Let’s all of us take a breath. Ready? Jump!

Be the Change …

/ still a dreamer / 12 Comments

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandi

It sometimes strikes me how often we complain about one thing or another or see behavior we can easily criticize. The world is rapidly changing, and with more and more people involved with texting and their iPhones, etc., it sometimes seems like a less and less friendly world. Certainly, it can seem like a less considerate one.

But really, this is just the current manifestation of what sometimes looks like the breakdown of civilized society. It’s taken on many different faces over the years.

About 16+ years ago, I moved out to this side of the state of New Jersey to a far kinder and gentler life. My county is highly agricultural. There’s still lots of open space, both fields and woods, and it’s inhabited by a lot of people who still have a connection to the land and to nature. It’s a very different mindset than the bustling city, cool as that was when I lived there, or even towns in the suburbs, which still have a very active lifestyle, as did mine.

In my little newfound town in Western NJ was something that, to me,  epitomized the gentler mentality out here … a one way railroad trestle underpass. The trestle is over a well-traveled two-lane blacktop connecting the areas south of it to the very busy Route 78, a mile to the north, which runs across the state, just about into the Hudson River and NYC. What I so loved about this spot was that everyone took turns when they were coming or going under this little one way underpass. “After you.”  “Go ahead,” they waved. Civilization at its best.

Then they started building the McMansions.  With them came a whole lot of people in a big hurry to get to Rt. 78 and their hellish commute to points East. And there went the civility. The motto of these people was “I’m going to get me mine.” And they pushed through, ten cars at a time, if needs be, to make sure they did. But the good thing?

We “locals”, as I suppose we are, didn’t go that route. We kept on waving the next car through the narrow passageway.  If we didn’t get to pass for a few cars, so be it. And I still do that every time I get to that train trestle. Some of the oncoming drivers look surprised. Most wave thanks, just as we all always have. Do those of us who support this small kindness make a difference?There’s no way of knowing. But I still see lots of people taking turns.

What is true, is that by joining the ranks of the inconsiderate and rude, nothing will change for the better. So we can be the change we wish to see in the world, or add to the problem. I believe that whatever we do positive in this world does make a difference. So feel free to wave me on when you get to the underpass, and I’ll do the same for you.

Today, Memorial Day, we can all be a change we’d like to see and it just takes a second and a show of appreciation.  Thank a vet.

Salad Called My Name

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Salad and I haven’t really been talking much of late. In fact, we’ve been on the outs.

Although it’s been a warm winter out this way, soup, veggie pizza and many other vegetable concoctions have really been hogging the conversation. Salad just didn’t seem to have much to say.

It’s not like Salad and I don’t get along. We go way back. But as of late? Salad’s mind seemed somewhere else and so did mine. I started to wonder if it was really over. You know … OVER.

But then while food shopping this past weekend, Salad caught my eye in some half-pleading, half-come-hither kind of way. Next thing you know, some veggies I hadn’t entertained in my cart in a while were along for the ride. And on their way home with me.

And then, fellow blogger D. LaSauce, featured this beautifully plated salad yesterday. It felt like a conspiracy, but Salad was somehow working the magic behind the scenes.

Lunch today? Salad totally had me. Called my name and I waltzed to the kitchen helplessly in thrall and put together the tasty organic dish you see above. That’s Spring baby greens, red onion, cucumber, orange bell pepper, and feta cheese tossed with light salt and pepper, extra-virgin olive oil and lemon juice.

That Salad’s a pretty clever one, eh?
Being back together is always sweet and Salad knows it.

Friendship

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

For my wonderful friends … those blessing my present and those who have blessed my past … 

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.  ~Arnold Glasow

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.  ~Donna Roberts

You can always tell a real friend:  when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.  ~Laurence J. Peter

We are the captains of our own ships sailing the sea of life, but in times of a stormy weather, you will discover true friends when they don’t hesitate to be a lighthouse.  ~Dodinsky

If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.  ~Author Unknown

Friendship is Love with jewels on, but without either flowers or veil.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.  ~Emily Kimbrough

And perhaps my favorite …

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  “Pooh!” he whispered.  “Yes, Piglet?”  “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.  “I just wanted to be sure of you.”  ~A.A. Milne