How Much Time for Ourselves?

Technically speaking, all our time is for ourselves, but when we ask this question, what is implied is how much time for things we don’t have to or should do. How much time for things that make us happy or give us pleasure? And how do we even know where that line is?

The bottom line is (speaking for myself), I am not getting any younger and there are things that are important to do, even if reading a book is one of them, or sharing time with like-minded people. There is always the reality that an income needs to be made, a house kept up, animals cared for, but what about the rest?

Raised in a society that firmly believes in a strong work ethic (which is fine to a degree), we are also often raised to believe that we should always be busy, “doing something” (meaningful is the implication there), and enjoy our reward at the end of the day or perhaps on the weekend. But what about if we toss our schedule and sit and read a book for a few hours smack dab in the middle of the (work) day? Or write? Or draw? Is that tyranny? Punishable by guilt?

Personally, I’m very tired of the restraints that are so incorporated in our brains that they became our reality. But that’s just the old reality we were raised with. I want to create a new reality. I am ready for the book you see here – it’s about changing everything and the way we perceive it and how we live and how we can heal ourselves. It requires learning, understanding, and focusing in a way that we were never taught, or even knew existed in those formative years. Change.

How much time is really for me? For ourselves? Why not change the equation?

It’s All in the Perspective

One of the things I’ve been learning over the last few years is how a shift in perspective can make all the difference.

It doesn’t take much to see something thought of as negative, as positive; something limiting to something possible. And it’s so simple. I love both the following quotes, but the first one exemplifies what I mean.

It’s not that big a jump to change one’s mindset from, “This will never work,” to “this may really be possible.” Or if someone asks you if you know how to do something to answer, “I haven’t done that yet.” instead of “I can’t do that.”

It really is a matter of switching from a limiting belief to a belief in the possible. If you say it, you will likely believe it. Go from, “I’m sick” to “I’m not 100% right now.” “I’m not comfortable in large groups of people” to “I always find at least one person to talk to.” Minor shifts. I found it was a great way to get past any number of limiting beliefs about myself, and ultimately, eliminating them.

So going back to perspective …

This is a photo of my Mom in her younger days. In having to go through just about every aspect of my life lately – getting rid of some stuff, relocating other stuff – I’ve been finding all kinds of things, such as this old photo, in unlikely places. It got me thinking about my Mom. She was a woman who didn’t like too many things around, and she liked them to stay in very specific places. It then occurred to me, considering a shift in perspective, maybe my Mom was just a minimalist ahead of her time.

Textures of A Grey, Wintry Day

It was Wednesday, a day predicted to be cloudy and cold with possible snow showers in the afternoon. The perfect day to be inside as I had a good project to focus on. But first, something lovely to light my day. I realized, after I’d taken a few pictures, that the sparkle of a tea light in the unique beauty of mercury glass could not easily be captured with a camera. It’s quite magical, so I’ll offer my best try, and you can imagine the light shimmering within.

At a certain point in the late morning I felt restless and too much inside. The sky had been a nearly colorless grey-white since daybreak and was less than inviting, but I needed some fresh air. I opened the side door to my porch and was greeted by a chorus of happy song. The many sparrows that abound around the house raised their small voices to the sky from the privet hedge and cheered my heart. Soon I heard  the nasal call of a Canada goose overhead, then three, then perhaps seven or so, as they winged their way southward, dark silhouettes against the paleness.

Despite the faded grey skies, I felt inspired to step outside, even if for a little while. The privet hedge nearest my driveway remains green for a surprisingly long time. However, with the temperatures now dipping to 18 degrees at night, even these leaves are turning and starting to fall.

Before the spring earlier this year, I had an arborist come out to trim it and cut back the vines that insinuate themselves among the gentler stalks of the hedge. There is no killing the intruders as all their roots are totally entangled, but once cut back, I can keep a better eye on the vines and continue cutting them to the ground. I watched the arborist out my tall office window – he was an artisan with a ladder, clipping here and there, then climbing down and standing back, assessing his work, much like an artist at an easel. It was a delight to watch him trim the branches so carefully to their natural inclinations. When done, he assured me that it would look beautiful and grow wonderfully in the spring because privet hedge loves to be cut back. He was right.

The tall tree in the furthest corner of the yard was a pattern of lace in the sky, also still holding on to some of its last leaves. In the foreground to the left is more privet hedge which the owner lets grow tall and wild for privacy. Totally untended for a while now, however, it has slender maples growing here and there, and I wonder if they might choke it out at some point. On the occasions that the hedge was trimmed, it was always with a chainsaw, so I suspect my little area of privet along the driveway may be counting itself lucky indeed.

At the corner of my front porch is a tall shrub, perhaps some sort of hemlock. From the recent rains, it was covered with droplets of water, sparkling without the benefit of sun, just catching whatever light they could, and looking quite festive.

Also still wet from the rains of the night before, the branches of this evergreen glistened with moisture, cradling several of the now crisp maple leaves that have flown by from neighboring trees. This shrub has quadrupled in size since I’ve lived here – it’s in a very happy spot. It didn’t get its chainsaw shaping this year, so I hand trimmed it myself to keep its nice natural shape. Still, I suspect it will need more attention come spring; it has a very expansive nature and gets just the right amount of sun to fulfill its dreams.

Holding on to its once-bright green leaves is another shrub, sporting its cheery red berries. The branches are a tangle of dark criss-crossing patterns, and the leaves have now turned coral and copper, soon to join the slumbering grass below.

I didn’t venture far. It wasn’t that kind of day. But the caroling sparrows and gently changing plant life around my house and yard brightened my spirit, and invited me back into myself.

 

 

 

Women’s Words

I reached for a pocketed folder on my office bookcase and heard a small crash. I looked down and it was a little volume titled Great “Quotes” from Great Women!

I hadn’t looked at this in quite some time, but I am never one to ignore books jumping off a shelf! I always assume events like these are the Universe’s way of pointing out something to me, even if just to slow down my workday and take a look. I had a business meeting coming up and wanted to get all my ducks in a row, but then there was this.

I picked this little collection up back in 1984. It is dedicated to “all the great women whose words have motivated, inspired and brought tears and laughter into our lives.” I suspect were this book published today it would be greatly expanded.

Those quoted are a cross section of women in politics or whose husbands were in politics, leaders, authors, actresses, singers, even comediennes. One of my favorite quotes is by Elaine Boosler, “I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body.”

My little break of inspiration was much needed when this book landed on the floor. I’m still smiling as I think of it. I hope these few quotes do the same for you. Here’s another, this one from Edith Armstrong: “I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal and soon they’ll forget my number.”

Now why my little Jazzy, you may ask? Well, first, because I can. And second, because that peaceful repose is a reminder to be sure to take in some sun and some time to relax whenever you can. I accept that as her inspirational contribution to the post, as it’s always great advice.