It seems that there are periods in our lives when we have plans, goals, dreams, and we are just not going to get to them when we want. Plans? What are those?
To create art, to plan a future, to write, to do any of the things that a freelancer wants and needs to do takes blocks of time, and more importantly, focus. And that’s what I have been sorely missing.
Sorting out my life in the interest of giving up 40% of my second floor has been a two-part journey. The first part is choosing what belongings need to stay and which to go. Thanks to Buy Nothing, mentioned in an earlier post, I was able to find new homes for 45 items. But the second part is the need to go through everything I own – every closet, dresser, storage area – to see what no longer aligns with who I am right now, and THAT has been a life review of large proportions.
It has entailed remembering so much – joy, sorrow, laughter – through photos, art, and other items infused with memories. I keep trying to focus on where I’m going, but between Buy Nothing and a life review, on top of the demands of everyday life, I have none. I’ve lost so much time. And energy. The blue heron is a tiny example – started out with a color sketch, then another version in watercolor, and my plan was/is to do a digital rendering. That was a week ago.
I remind myself to have patience, and to trust, as I do believe, that everything is unfolding in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time, always for me. It’s all almost done. Patience and trust … working on it, working on it.
Still A Dreamer 
Wow, huge realignments underway, that’s for certain, Jeanne. I send extra love and light to accompany these deeply emotional and spiritual tasks. I can only imagine how profoundly affecting the experience is, and hope you’ll give yourself the grace to rest, refill, take a few days to fall into your art, and fortify that core understanding you have that all will be well. You’re giving yourself a great gift, and I’m thinking that wonderful focus and spaciousness will result…but first all this time traveling with memories tied to objects…naturally tiring and draining. Look at all you’ve accomplished. You’re excavating a whole lifetime, as you say. I hope there will be treasures unearthed, and peace will carry you through to your goals. XO
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t thank you enough Kitty, for your comment, and for understanding that, yes, this is time travel, indeed. I know there is a tremendous amount of emotional realignment going on, as you say, and a great deal of releasing, making room for what’s to come. Although this is very challenging now, ultimately, I will be going forward with a lighter, less encumbered, spirit. Funny – what just occurred to me is that I may sometimes be in the muck of a swamp, but I am never in quicksand.
I need to give myself permission to rest, yes. I – we as women – always feel that we should be forging on, when in fact, we do need to rest and restore. I’m going to go draw now. :-) Thank you. ❤️
LikeLike
I’m working on it, too:) LOVE the heron.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Cheryl. There WILL be a digital version coming. Growing – choosing to grow – isn’t the easiest choice, but to stay where we are at times is a much worse one. ❤️
LikeLike
I haven’t got the excuse of sorting my house, but am still struggling to get going with the creative things I want to do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that’s just the life of being a creative … we have periods of inspiration and doing, and periods of gestating, like seeds in the earth, waiting for our time to grow and bloom. It’s hard to trust that at times, but I do believe it’s true. Hang in there ….
LikeLiked by 1 person