Helping Out

Well … hello! (My Wolf Spider Adventure)

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

That’s all I could think of to say. And with that, I closed the bathroom door as fast as I could.

Holy Moly! That was the biggest spider I have ever seen in any place I’ve lived! (though not the biggest one I’ve ever seen.)  Including his legs, which were kind of scrunched up, he took up a circular space about 2″ in diameter. What to do?

OK, the usual paper cup I put over other insects to take them outside might not even cover this guy, and I didn’t want to waste any time, because if he got into the bathroom, he could probably find his way out again. Think! Got it. I had a 1/2 pint deli container that would work. I opened the bathroom door and he hadn’t moved. I carefully placed the container over him, which scared him quite a bit, then very gently slid the piece of cardboard underneath. Now he was panicking trying to get out. Just hold on, I kept telling him, as I made my way out the side door.

While I might have released a smaller spider at the far end of the driveway, I really didn’t want to see this guy again anytime soon, so we walked down to the river. Over the tracks, there was a large pile of brush and broken branches of various sizes and plenty of leaf litter. Perfect. I put the container and cardboard down and tipped it so he could get out. He made a few false starts then out he went. Within seconds, he blended into his surroundings and couldn’t even be seen. Whew!

I had only seen a spider that big once before – in the library meeting room where my writers’ group met. (He got released, too.) My research when I got home had identified that one as a wolf spider, and I believe this one is, too. I searched on The Bug Guide, and found some photos with the unusual patterning that this spider had. (Thanks to Charley Eiseman for this photo which shows that patterning perfectly.)

So now the question … why did he appear to me? I am of the belief that when animals appear to us it may be of significance. The best resource I’ve found for understanding the meaning of a particular animal who may be a totem is Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak. He tells us this about spiders appearing in our lives: the spider is associated in mythology and by mystics with 3 primary expressions  – the magic and energy of creation, the assertiveness of that creative force, (particularly keeping the feminine energies of creativity alive), and an association with spiral energy, i.e., the links with the past and future. According to Ted Andrews, some of the questions one might ask when Spider comes into our lives are … Are you moving toward a specific goal or becoming scattered? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments rather than your own? Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you feeling closed in or stuck? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through?

This is just a tiny sampling of the wisdom that surrounds the lore and potential magic/inspiration with Spider as a totem. Andrews writes 4 lengthy pages on the spider alone. Having re-read about Spider appearing in my life, as I did when he appeared to my writing group, I am led to believe that it is now time for me to return to my most creative self. And if the size of that spider is any indication … I’d say in a BIG way.

Women Helping Women or ….

/ still a dreamer

If you give to any charities, you are aware that most charities sell their mailing lists to other charities. So where you may be a regular supporter of a few, you receive scores of other appeals requesting your donations to support their mission.

I understand this. What I find particularly difficult is that because I truly believe in the charities I donate to, those organizations with similar missions often resonate deeply with me as well. How do we decide to whom we give when the funds available to give are limited? I already have a stack I’d like to give to and more requests continue to pour in. In the last couple weeks, I must have received at least 20 appeals, some from those I already give to, and many other charities with worthy missions that want me to come on board with them.

The piece in all of these that really caught my eye told me that:

  • One in three women worldwide are beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime
  • Up to 70% of women worldwide encounter violence.
  • As many as 6 out of 10 migrant women from Central America are raped on their journey to the United States
  • Native American and Alaska Native women are 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted than women in the U.S. in general
  • In 2010 alone, an estimated 15,000 women were raped in eastern Congo.

The letter went on to describe the circumstances of individual women, one in the Democratic Republic of Congo who spoke out about being raped by a soldier and was raped again and bayonetted in the stomach. There are numerous other bone-chilling instances of women being burned because their dowries were too small, stoned to death because they “dishonored” their families, etc. Reference is made to the many women who, unable to support themselves, endure years of domestic abuse.

It is hard to believe that in our so-called enlightened world with all its technological advances that we remain so utterly barbaric towards one half of the human race … women. Madeleine K. Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.”

I feel compelled to help, but how? Do I give financially? Should I give to this organization, (Amnesty International), or to local organizations? Or should I help organizations that fight mammoth industrial giants who will knowingly destroy entire geographical areas and cause widespread species extinction?  Or help American Indian elders without food and heat? Or organizations that fight the worst of animal cruelty? Or … or … or?

Is there not a special place in hell for those of us who are aware of such need and do nothing? I was profoundly struck by these egregious offenses against women, yet I am aware of the need in every corner of the planet, and I, as can we all, can always do something. Whatever it is.

Oddly enough, after reading all these appeals, I remembered why I wanted to write children’s books … I want to open children’s eyes, to show them the love and beauty in the world, but also to show them that they have the power to change what’s wrong. They needn’t know at 5 years old that women are being sexually assaulted throughout the world, but they can know that helping and caring about others, be it humans, animals or our planet, makes a difference. And a well-crafted children’s book can show that in the most un-obvious of ways. So while I’ve yet to figure out where to send my next donation, perhaps  writing from my heart is my unique gift to a troubled world, the gift I can always give.

My guess is that you, no matter how much money you do or don’t have,  have plenty to give, too.

Everyone Needs A Hero

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And today, my hero is Steve. And it’s not the first time.

It might seem simple for some of you who know how the techie end of computers work, but those of us who work on, as I call it, the “pretty side”, (i.e. use the programs), it’s far from simple. When things go really awry, I panic. Like so many of you nowadays, the computer, particularly e-mail, for me, is an integral part of my business. And when this afternoon, Entourage – the Mac version of Outlook – took a powder, I panicked.

I e’d Steve, my Mac guy ever since I’ve had one, but decided I’d better call, too. He calls me back – literally in the car with his family on the road to their week’s vacation – and helps me. Is there any question as to why this guy is my hero? And it’s not the first time! When my older Mac died a number of years ago, the week before Christmas, I brought it to him at his shop, where it was determined it could not be revived. I order a new one, bring it to him, he migrates all my data and comes to my house on Christmas eve morning to integrate it with my peripherals, etc. so I could keep my business moving along. Need I say more?

So today, a couple hours later with his instructions and my compacting my e-mail program, and re-building the data – something I knew less than nothing about – and a follow-up phone call, I am up and running again. Panic over, breathing once again.

Here’s to you, Steve! You are my hero!

Now clearly that’s not his photo up there – I don’t have one and he probably wouldn’t like my posting it if I did, but … if you live anywhere in driving distance of Hunterdon County, New Jersey and need a sharp Mac guy, check out Steve’s contact information on the web.

Love Is All You Need

/ still a dreamer / 4 Comments

Through a long, circuitous route, I found such a wonderful video …

You know sometimes how your friend e-mails you something cool? Well, my friend Kathy in Maryland sent me this great quote from the movie Akeelah and the Bee. She didn’t know where it came from, so I looked it up. The quote is from the very well-known and wonderful metaphysical writer and teacher, Marianne Williamson. I have two books of hers, A Woman’s Worth and A Return to Love. As it turns out, the quote is from the latter, called Everyday Grace, right there on her website. (Go check it out – it’s perfect.)

OK, so now I’m on her site, which I love … I scroll down and there’s this video … after watching it, I go to the “offical” Starbucks site. What I learn is that, on December 7th, 2009 at 1:30 pm GMT, Starbucks invited musicians from all over the world to sing together at the same time to raise awareness for AIDS in Africa. In that one moment, musicians from 156 countries played “All You Need is Love” together.  Watch the video as musicians from all around the world come together and share this song. Starbucks has raised enough funds for over 14 million days worth of medicine – as of this date – for those suffering with AIDS.

p.s. Now does this remind me of my favorite guy, Matt, who danced all over the world just to bring people together through dance? Yes, it does, and if you haven’t yet gotten your fill of all those warm and fuzzy feelings, go visit Where the Hell is Matt? and watch Dancing 2008. It still brings tears to my eyes.

A Love Story at Mylestone Equine Rescue

/ still a dreamer / 2 Comments

The following is a story from Mylestone Equine Rescue, New Jersey’s oldest all-breed horse rescue. They work tirelessly saving lives, rehoming horses and providing education about the problems faced by horses today. Please visit their site, sponsor a horse, or even send a special Valentine Sponsorship. All help is greatly appreciated.

Once upon a time, there were 2 horses named Josie and Clyde. They were very different horses … in almost every way. They were different breeds – he a big Tennessee Walker, she a Quarter horse. Clyde was a dark bay with many signs of age in his body and graying face; Josie was jet black and rather flashy. Clyde had worked hard all of his life, most recently at a hack stable, and not been treated kindly; Josie had belonged to someone who rode her and showed no signs of having been mistreated in any way. He tended to be a bit grumpy; she was gentle and grateful.

The one thing they did have in common was that no one wanted either one of them anymore. Clyde was in the kill pen facing a trip to slaughter, and Josie was abandoned at the farm where her owner had boarded her, and faced going to auction.

Clyde was rescued, and when he arrived at Mylestone, the telltale kill pen sticker was still affixed to his rump. He was unused to being outside on his own and enjoying open space. He hung back, lonely and afraid, preferring the safety of his shed. When turned out, he ran the fence line.

And then came Josie. Like an angel on a mission of love, she reached out to Clyde. When first turned out with Josie, Clyde decided to simply ignore her, like a child putting his fingers in his ears – lalalalala, I can’t hear you!

But that was not acceptable to the patient Josie. She stood next to him and nudged him, as if responding to a pain he felt but couldn’t express. It was as if Josie knew. She stood close to him, insisting he let her be his friend. And little by little, he did. Soon, he settled down. The fence running became pacing, the pacing became walking, and the walking became standing still … next to Josie. Soon they were grazing right there — right smack in the middle of the once-feared paddock — together.

Josie and Clyde soon became best friends. Each eagerly awaited their being taken to the field to while away the days together, their friendship a balm to the scars of difficult days in their pasts. All was well.

Then one day, Susankelly and a volunteer went out to take some pictures of the two lovebirds for the Valentine Gift Sponsorships*. Susankelly shook a treat jar, and that’s when the fighting began.

“Me first!” insisted Clyde.
“Why not me?” demanded Josie.
“Get out of my way,” said Clyde, as he lightly body slammed her.
“Hey!” said Josie, “stop being so pushy!”

Their ears lay flat, and there was huffing and puffing and much snorting, and many disparaging remarks bandied about. (We won’t repeat the nature of these comments; they were just terribly rude and hurtful. And terribly unlike the accepting and sharing relationship Josie and Clyde had developed.) What just happened?

At Susankelly’s insistence, Josie and Clyde finally settled down for a nice photo or two. They were too embarrassed by their own behavior to not look nice for their Valentine’s picture, especially because you would be able to give that photo as a gift to someone special! Soon the two women were gone, and so was the jar of treats. The jar of treats that started the fight.

Josie and Clyde walked back to the center of the paddock together, side-by-side, happily bumping against one another, and nuzzling each other’s faces.

“What just happened back there?” asked Josie.
“I don’t know,” said Clyde. “Do you think we have food issues?”
“I didn’t think we did,” she said. “Maybe we should just stick to grazing and our hay and grain.”
“Good idea” said Clyde, and they wandered off as happy as they once had been, secretly hoping their photos came out so wonderful that you would just have to send one as a Valentine Gift Sponsorship* to someone you love.

Because chocolate … might just start a fight.

* The deadline for Valentine’s Gift Sponsorships has passed, but you could still sponsor Josie or Clyde separately with a standard Gift Sponsorship at any time of year!