A Teensy Sign

You know how when you’re really busy and/or distracted and/or not feeling 100%, (or whatever), something can happen and you shrug it off, chalk it up to “it couldn’t be helped?” But then the next day you’re kind of bummed about it?

Well, after running around on Saturday, I was pretty tired at night, so decided to leave my front earrings in, no big deal. Didn’t bother even checking them. Small studs rarely come out overnight. Except … I woke up Sunday morning, and one of them, indeed, was missing. I did a search of the likely places it could have gone, and then, just chalked it up to “whatever.”

But as the day wore on, I was bummed about it. They are these cool little Celtic knots, and had become my “go-to” earrings when I couldn’t decide what to put in my ears, or needed something simple to complement a busy shirt or scarf … my back-up earrings. Damn. Now I was really bummed at the prospect of never having them to wear again. Who knows when or where I got them? OK, so be it. Life goes on; this is the small stuff.

So now it’s Monday morning, a boatload of stuff to do, and I lean over to see how the stain on my “Berber” living room carpet is coming along – the cat vomit one I had Nature-Miracled to death – and there’s the earring, hiding in plain sight. I still find it bizarre how such a tiny thing – quite literally, too – can so brighten a day; I was grinning from ear to ear, and felt like I ought to be thanking somebody. Was I just plain lucky? (Since I don’t believe in coincidences, I tend to doubt that.) I could go on with my own personal conjectures, but I won’t. What it seemed like to me – as these seemingly insignificant instances in all our lives can be – was that it was a sign – a teensy one – that all was well.

And you know what? I’ll take it.

Women Helping Women or ….

If you give to any charities, you are aware that most charities sell their mailing lists to other charities. So where you may be a regular supporter of a few, you receive scores of other appeals requesting your donations to support their mission.

I understand this. What I find particularly difficult is that because I truly believe in the charities I donate to, those organizations with similar missions often resonate deeply with me as well. How do we decide to whom we give when the funds available to give are limited? I already have a stack I’d like to give to and more requests continue to pour in. In the last couple weeks, I must have received at least 20 appeals, some from those I already give to, and many other charities with worthy missions that want me to come on board with them.

The piece in all of these that really caught my eye told me that:

  • One in three women worldwide are beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime
  • Up to 70% of women worldwide encounter violence.
  • As many as 6 out of 10 migrant women from Central America are raped on their journey to the United States
  • Native American and Alaska Native women are 2.5 times more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted than women in the U.S. in general
  • In 2010 alone, an estimated 15,000 women were raped in eastern Congo.

The letter went on to describe the circumstances of individual women, one in the Democratic Republic of Congo who spoke out about being raped by a soldier and was raped again and bayonetted in the stomach. There are numerous other bone-chilling instances of women being burned because their dowries were too small, stoned to death because they “dishonored” their families, etc. Reference is made to the many women who, unable to support themselves, endure years of domestic abuse.

It is hard to believe that in our so-called enlightened world with all its technological advances that we remain so utterly barbaric towards one half of the human race … women. Madeleine K. Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.”

I feel compelled to help, but how? Do I give financially? Should I give to this organization, (Amnesty International), or to local organizations? Or should I help organizations that fight mammoth industrial giants who will knowingly destroy entire geographical areas and cause widespread species extinction?  Or help American Indian elders without food and heat? Or organizations that fight the worst of animal cruelty? Or … or … or?

Is there not a special place in hell for those of us who are aware of such need and do nothing? I was profoundly struck by these egregious offenses against women, yet I am aware of the need in every corner of the planet, and I, as can we all, can always do something. Whatever it is.

Oddly enough, after reading all these appeals, I remembered why I wanted to write children’s books … I want to open children’s eyes, to show them the love and beauty in the world, but also to show them that they have the power to change what’s wrong. They needn’t know at 5 years old that women are being sexually assaulted throughout the world, but they can know that helping and caring about others, be it humans, animals or our planet, makes a difference. And a well-crafted children’s book can show that in the most un-obvious of ways. So while I’ve yet to figure out where to send my next donation, perhaps  writing from my heart is my unique gift to a troubled world, the gift I can always give.

My guess is that you, no matter how much money you do or don’t have,  have plenty to give, too.

While You Were Dying

In Memory of Kathy  –  1/31/1942 – 2/2/2012

While you were dying,
my wings were open.
the empty breeze whistled through,
an exhalation of sorrow,
and I, half frozen,
watched the clouds, the rain, the moon
go by for days.
They took no notice of me
hovering in place.

I fed the cats and swept the stairs
Got the mail, ran laundry through
Got dishes washed, paid the bills
Answered e-mails, watched TV,
All while you were dying.

Though miles away
I held you close and we
laughed at life
in all its beauty and contrariness.
Why should now be different?
I watched your angels
light the way,
knowing
their wings would soon enfold you.
I held my breath
while you were gently dying.

And then …

A light within the light.
Unanticipated joy.
You, luminous.
And me,
Wings beating,
Soaring
in love,
remembering,
and remembering,
dear friend,
that you
were never dying.

Jeanne Balsam
February 3, 2012

Sad Places

OK, I give. I find in checking the stats on my blog that someone or multiple “someones” are regularly using the search term sad place, sometimes sad places. Each time I see it, I wonder if they have come specifically to my site searching for it, or if something in my site is drawing them to me. Either way, I would love that person or persons to let me know what they are looking for.

I believe a sad place can be as much a state of mind as a physical location. I started searching for photos that said sad place to me. I realized that even that could change on any given day in any given hour, plus I suspect that the response to that phrase would vary enormously from person to person. But I selected this photo of the Eastern State Penitentiary in center city Philadelphia by Mike Munchel. The prison was built in 1920 and housed prisoners until 1970. Regardless of whether or how people should be punished or not – that’s not the issue – I found this building, this facility, an extremely sad place. That any human being was kept in such utterly primitive circumstances is indeed sad in my book. I also find that many derelict buildings, once beautiful and filled with life, are often sad places for me.

I found a few other places that I – at this exact moment in time – feel were described by that phrase, but I wonder what you have in mind … what are you looking for when you search for sad place?

No Ho-Hum Oatmeal

Are you an oatmeal fan? I actually love almost any good hot cereal, but McCann’s Irish Oatmeal is my favorite. It’s warm, nourishing, and while delicious with the simplest of accompaniments – a touch of brown sugar and a small dab of butter – there are so many ways you can dress it up to make it even more delicious. Plus, McCann’s is non-GMO, an extra bonus.

Here are a few ideas to change your oatmeal from ho-hum to yum. Try crumbling a gingersnap or two and toss that with some chopped pecans into the bowl. Or, add them to the pot when the oatmeal is just shy of boiling for chewier results. That’s also the best time to toss in raisins or cranberries.

Fresh fruit is, of course, always an option. For another delicious take, consider chopped apples and walnuts, raisins, and cinnamon. You can also sweeten the pot by changing the cooking liquid, and use 75% apple juice to 25% water. When I make oatmeal, I do alter the liquid, but I use 50% organic soy milk and 50% water. It makes for a creamier dish, and also adds more protein.

Oatmeal is such an inviting food, and good quality oatmeal doesn’t lose its flavor with additions stirred in. Plus, it’s heart healthy! Something else to consider – oatmeal will stick to your ribs longer the more whole the grain. Eating instant oatmeal will leave you hungry soon after because the oats are chopped extremely fine to speed up cooking, but are also digested much more quickly. I use McCann’s Quick-Cooking, steel cut oatmeal for more heft, but the regular steel cut, while taking longer to cook, will stave off hunger the longest.

Start your day with a steaming hot bowl of oatmeal, and stir in plenty of your creativity!

* Post Updated: 8/7/2026