While You Were Dying

February 5, 2012February 5, 2012 / still a dreamer / 4 Comments

In Memory of Kathy – 1/31/1942 – 2/2/2012

While you were dying,
my wings were open.
the empty breeze whistled through,
an exhalation of sorrow,
and I, half frozen,
watched the clouds, the rain, the moon
go by for days.
They took no notice of me
hovering in place.

I fed the cats and swept the stairs
Got the mail, ran laundry through
Got dishes washed, paid the bills
Answered e-mails, watched TV,
All while you were dying.

Though miles away
I held you close and we
laughed at life
in all its beauty and contrariness.
Why should now be different?
I watched your angels
light the way,
knowing
their wings would soon enfold you.
I held my breath
while you were gently dying.

And then …

A light within the light.
Unanticipated joy.
You, luminous.
And me,
Wings beating,
Soaring
in love,
remembering,
and remembering,
dear friend,
that you
were never dying.

Jeanne Balsam
February 3, 2012

Sad Places

January 20, 2012 / still a dreamer

OK, I give. I find in checking the stats on my blog that someone or multiple “someones” are regularly using the search term sad place, sometimes sad places. Each time I see it, I wonder if they have come specifically to my site searching for it, or if something in my site is drawing them to me. Either way, I would love that person or persons to let me know what they are looking for.

I believe a sad place can be as much a state of mind as a physical location. I started searching for photos that said sad place to me. I realized that even that could change on any given day in any given hour, plus I suspect that the response to that phrase would vary enormously from person to person. But I selected this photo of the Eastern State Penitentiary in center city Philadelphia by Mike Munchel. The prison was built in 1920 and housed prisoners until 1970. Regardless of whether or how people should be punished or not – that’s not the issue – I found this building, this facility, an extremely sad place. That any human being was kept in such utterly primitive circumstances is indeed sad in my book. I also find that many derelict buildings, once beautiful and filled with life, are often sad places for me.

I found a few other places that I – at this exact moment in time – feel were described by that phrase, but I wonder what you have in mind … what are you looking for when you search for sad place?

No Ho-Hum Oatmeal

January 17, 2012August 7, 2026 / still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Are you an oatmeal fan? I actually love almost any good hot cereal, but McCann’s Irish Oatmeal is my favorite. It’s warm, nourishing, and while delicious with the simplest of accompaniments – a touch of brown sugar and a small dab of butter – there are so many ways you can dress it up to make it even more delicious. Plus, McCann’s is non-GMO, an extra bonus.

Here are a few ideas to change your oatmeal from ho-hum to yum. Try crumbling a gingersnap or two and toss that with some chopped pecans into the bowl. Or, add them to the pot when the oatmeal is just shy of boiling for chewier results. That’s also the best time to toss in raisins or cranberries.

Fresh fruit is, of course, always an option. For another delicious take, consider chopped apples and walnuts, raisins, and cinnamon. You can also sweeten the pot by changing the cooking liquid, and use 75% apple juice to 25% water. When I make oatmeal, I do alter the liquid, but I use 50% organic soy milk and 50% water. It makes for a creamier dish, and also adds more protein.

Oatmeal is such an inviting food, and good quality oatmeal doesn’t lose its flavor with additions stirred in. Plus, it’s heart healthy! Something else to consider – oatmeal will stick to your ribs longer the more whole the grain. Eating instant oatmeal will leave you hungry soon after because the oats are chopped extremely fine to speed up cooking, but are also digested much more quickly. I use McCann’s Quick-Cooking, steel cut oatmeal for more heft, but the regular steel cut, while taking longer to cook, will stave off hunger the longest.

Start your day with a steaming hot bowl of oatmeal, and stir in plenty of your creativity!

* Post Updated: 8/7/2026

Accepting Now

January 15, 2012 / still a dreamer

I’m always a big fan of good quotes, and this one came up on my metaphysical flip calendar on Friday.

“You cannot live on earth and avoid lessons; but you can learn them easily and with joy rather than struggle.” – Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer.

I’m thinking that learning them easily and with joy IS a big lesson no? I’ve been observing and talking to others and thinking about my own experiences, and realizing how much of our stress and anxiety is attached to outcomes, i.e. our having a lot invested in our own expectations coming to pass. Sometimes our expectations are based on “reality” and are reasonable. But sometimes they’re really what we want to happen. Or not to happen. In the latter two cases, the result is the same; we are not living in the present world of possibilities or accepting what is and we become messy balls of anxiety.

So in accepting the not-knowing, it might seem like we’re spending our lives walking on a tightrope of uncertainty, and in a way, I suppose we are. But if we believe that there is a reason why things happen, whether we can see it or not, that there may be a bigger picture that we don’t know about, or a lesson we have yet to discern, then the tightrope has an infinite safety net. We’re really always OK. It’s our own attachment to outcomes that prevents us from walking that sparkling tightrope called life with confidence and perfect balance. And leaping with joy. Yes!

Accepting Now and being grateful for all we have in this moment, can bring us joy and help us learn our lessons without struggle. It can be a challenge. I’m right on the journey’s path with the rest of you, trying to grasp the lesson a little better, on a deeper level each time, and coming back to joy. Happy travels.

As 2011 Slips Quietly Away …

December 31, 2011December 31, 2011 / still a dreamer / 2 Comments

Some people are undoubtedly getting ready for a night out this evening; others are spending it quietly at home. For some the year goes out with much ado, for others a New Year softly beckons. As I sit and listen to the album Kindred by Kevin Wood, one of my favorites, I find myself simply looking forward to a bit of reflection … how to move towards some of my goals in the coming year, difficult choices that may need to be made, things that have transpired over the last year, and others to which I look forward in the coming year. Nothing especially profound or any different from what you might be thinking.